From the start [Prequel to That One Hummel]

Peace

I stare in shock at Mr Schue, trying to process what he's just told us all. I turn my back on everyone in the principals office and quickly rush to the bathroom. My stomach is churning, my mind's racing. I can't believe what I just heard. I quickly hide in a stall and throw up the soda I had for breakfast.

"Are you okay?" Kurt whispers.
"I...I'm so confused." I close my locker and look at my twin. "Dave and I made amends, I was literally talking to him last night."
"I know, it's hard to take in but, he's okay."
"He barely made it." I look at the ground. "I should have been a better friend."
"Max, this isn't about you not being a good friend. Dave was obviously struggling." He puts a hand on my shoulder. "Mercedes asked us to go to their meeting."
"I'm not sure that's gonna help."
"I know we're not religious, but it's respectful."
I nod in agreement and follow him to the classroom the god squad uses. We both walk in, I look at Quinn then back at the ground. We haven't talked in days, I don't know why...it's almost like she's lost interest and maybe I have too.
"We'll pray for his family." Mercedes smiles slightly. "We also have an edible arrangement if you wanna deliver it to him, Kurt."
My brother nods softly, looking around the room.
"Everyone on his Facebook is still going..." He sighs, sitting on a desk.
"Max, how are you doing?" Sam stands.
"I'm fine." I shrug. "It doesn't matter how I'm doing, it's Dave we should be worrying about."
"That's the most selfless thing you've ever said." Quinn looks right at me.
"I'm not doing this today, Quinn." I sigh and leave the room.
This day is just going to get worse isn't it?

Mr Schue gathers us in the auditorium, makes us sit on the stage. He lets Rory try peanut butter for the first time ever. He starts talking about his own experience with suicide, I clear my throat and look up from my hands.
"I've uh...felt that way too." I look at my brothers who frown.
"What?" Kurt scoffs. "When?"
"When I was in rehab, and someone I cared about stopped talking to me. Dad was busy working, and couldn't visit for a while. I was lonely, and all I had were thoughts...at first it was just thinking about how I could better myself, then they got darker. Group therapy wasn't working because it was just a reminder that I screwed up. One night I was sitting in that room, alone, tired and my last roommates stuff hadn't been cleared out yet, she was on some strong meds for her addiction. So I tried to take them all." I gulp down the lump in my throat. "A nurse caught me, shoved his fingers down my throat so I'd puke. I begged him not to tell, I didn't want to stay in that place any longer..." I run a hand through my hair and look around the room.
"Thank you for sharing that, Max. We're all here for you." Mr Schue walks towards me, taking me into his arms for a tight hug.
He sits back down and asks us to look forward to life, asks us to share what we're looking forward to. Everyone shares their thoughts, but me.
"Max?"
This is it.
"I'm looking forward to moving to LA...after prom."
"What? Anymore secrets?" Kurt snaps.
"Dad knew about all of this, I've been honest with him and Carol. He actually let me take on extra shifts at the garage." I sigh. "I have a deposit on an apartment, there's an interview for a dance studio set up for me as soon as I get there."
"And what about us?" Quinn snaps. "You were gonna leave and not tell me?"
I shake my head slowly, trying to keep calm.
"I was going to tell you guys eventually...I just didn't know how."
Quinn scoffs and storms off. I don't bother chasing her down, she needs time to cool off.

I walk into the hospital room and take a seat next to Dave's bed.
"Hey." He smiles slightly.
"How are you?"
"I'm doing good, Kurt dropped by with the edible arrangement." He nods towards the basket.
"I'm glad, don't eat it all at once big guy." I tease to make him laugh.
"Did you tell them?"
"Yeah...they're pissed." I sigh.
"You're getting out of here, that's all that matters." Dave reaches out for my hand which I take.
"Does it?"
"Max, you're a badass. I've never seen a dude put up a fight like you did with me."
I laugh softly and try to hold back my tears.
"Hey, you won." I look at him and smile.
"Yeah, but you got some good punches in." He squeezes my hand softly, giving me a boost of confidence.
"I'm glad we're friends now, Dave." I speak softly, trying not to cry.
"Well, when I get out of here we're going to bread sticks."
"You got a deal, Karofsky."