Head above the water

22

(When my brain is full of ideas but finals won't allow me time to write.)

Two months. Jimin and I had been together two months, and I couldn't have been happier. We were affectionate, and we still very much liked one another. We had only had one or two small arguments, but we had worked them out quickly. We never let the small things come between us.

It was nearly the end of February, but it was still as cold as it had been in the beginning of January. In fact, the weather seemed to be out for everyone. It got continuously colder. It was so cold that Jimin and I could no longer brace the pool, but we didn't actually need to anymore. Jimin had caught onto swimming relatively fast, and I was confident that he could out swim any situation he was thrown into.

Marissa and Jin were still together, and Julianna and Namjoon had made themselves official just a week after Jimin and I. It was lunch time, and we were all at the table.

"Jin, babe, can I have a bite of that?" Marissa pouted to her boyfriend.

They were a cute couple, but they had started to argue about things that shouldn't matter.

"You have your own food," He pouted, joking with Marissa.

The rest of the table could tell he was playing, but Marissa either couldn't see that or didn't care.

"Fine, be like that then," she huffed, irritated.

I tightened my hand in Jimin's and made eye contact with Julianna from across the table. We both knew that sometimes Marissa got into a funk and small things made her irrationally angry. She had been in one of those moods lately, and Jin hadn't yet figured out how to handle it.

The atmosphere was awkward. Hoseok, Taehyung, Jungkook, and Yoongi conversed quietly in their small clique of singles, and the couples, including Jimin and me, had fallen silent.

"I'm sorry. Here, you can have the rest," Jin tried to correct what he had said, but Marissa had made up her mind; she wanted to be angry.

"No, that's fine. Keep it. I wouldn't want to deprive you of food," Marissa was being petty.

"I'm trying to be nice right now," Jin explained desperately.

"You should have tried sooner," Marissa said, standing up with her tray in hand.

She walked to dump the food that was on it in the trash and continued on her way out of the door. Jin looked stressed, and I felt bad for him. Julianna got up to follow her, but Namjoon pulled her back by her arm softly.

"She'll be fine. Just spend your time in here with us. I hardly get to see you," he pleaded with my slightly more rational friend.

"I really can't," she apologized, "She needs me right now."

"I get it," He said, "She's more important than us."

The tone he used was an understanding one, but the way he phrased his words was bitter. I could see a tinge of red creeping up Julianna's neck, a tell tale sign that she was beginning to get angry. Instead of answering him she pulled her wrist away, a little more harshly than she normally would, and chased after Marissa.

"Jimin, babe," I called him.

"Hm?" He let me know he was listening.

"I'm going to go after them and make sure they're all right," I told him. I was worried that he might react like Namjoon did and try to get me to stay, but instead he gave me a small nod and a peck on the cheek.

"Let me know what they say. I have a feeling Jin and Namjoon are going to need help apologizing," He said.

"I promise," I gave him a weak smile and walked away from the table.

When I got to the bathroom I found both girls in quiet angry tears. Their faces were red, and their noses were runny.

"Guys what's wrong?" I gently prodded.

"I've liked him for so long," Marissa sobbed, "Since middle school when he moved here! I always imagined how perfect he would be if we were in a relationship. He's not perfect. Anastasia, he's not perfect! I don't know what to do anymore."

I was stunned by what Marissa had said. No one was perfect. I couldn't think of a reason she would think that he was. Before I could come up with a response Julianna stepped in.

"Namjoon isn't perfect either. He tries, he really does. I know that, but sometimes he says things without thinking. I know he never means to hurt my feelings, but sometimes I feel guilty about not talking to him enough. If I talk to him too much, though, I feel guilty because I don't feel like I'm paying enough attention to all of my friends. I don't know how to balance it, and I'm so stressed," Julianna ranted.

"Guys, I need you both to calm down and take a breath. You're leaving the irrational one to deal with things, and that's not a good idea. Of course neither of them are perfect. There isn't a human dead or alive that is or has ever been perfect. Listen to yourselves. You can't have irrational expectations. People make mistakes, and you have to give them the chance to make amends. If you don't let them know what's bothering you how can you expect anything to get fixed?" I replied to my best friends.

I was waiting for their responses, and I was scared to hear them. They were both crying and angry, and I had just told them that they weren't necessarily right. Most people would lash out at me for that, and that's exactly what they did.

"You act like your relationship with Jimin is all rainbows and sunshine," Marissa spat.

"It's like you don't even remember how you got together in the first place," Julianna agreed.

"Stop being so high and mighty. It's not like you've been in enough relationships to judge ours. You think you're an expert now that you finally found a guy that's interested in you? Do you really think your relationship with him will last? You don't even know him yet! Has he even introduced you to his family? Do you know if he has any family? What does he want to be? You don't know anything! Keep your nose out of our business!" Marissa shouted.

I stared at her, open mouthed. Even Julianna seemed uncomfortable with what Marissa had just said, and she had been on Marissa's side not more than a minute ago. I wanted to deny everything that Marissa had just yelled. I really wanted to deny it, but the truth was that I didn't know. I had never met his family, and he had never talked about him. I didn't know what he wanted to be. I hadn't even been to his house since I dropped him off on the day we met.

I couldn't reply to her, so I turned and walked away from my fuming friend. I felt bad to let Julianna deal with the aftermath of that explosion alone, but I needed to think.

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Hi guys! I'm sorry that it's been so long. I had college finals and then the next week I had high school finals and then the next I started practicing for my graduation. By the way, I'm officially out of high school now!

I hope to update as regularly as my work schedule will allow me to. Vote and comment if you liked this chapter, and be sure to have an awesome day!

Love Ya Always,
-Haleigh