Love Only

Xll

Lord knows how long it's been since Lauren hid herself into the deserted parking lot of the hospital. She sitting on a curb, hiding herself from everyone by placing herself in between two parked ambulances. She had thought about walking into a bar and drink all her sorrows away but she knows she can't do that, atleast not at two o'clock in the afternoon anyway. She needs something to take the edge off, to make her forget about everything even just for a while.

The responsibilities that come with being in one of the biggest girl group of this generation on her shoulders are slowly weighing her down and lately, Lauren feels like walls are starting to close in on her, making no room for her to breathe anymore. She feels like she's living in this thing called "life" where despite the feisty no-nonsense woman she's trying to portray in public, at the same time, she's also trying to fit the mold the management and the public have set for her. She's trying to live up to their expectations which only made the bar raise higher and higher each time, leaving no room for satisfaction.

And now...now the only person who can make Lauren's very existence feel worthwhile and the only person who could give her solace from all of that distress is gone, happy in someone else's arms and Lauren doesn't know what to do from here on out.

The incessant buzzing of Lauren's phone cuts her from her thoughts. She sighs. She really can't deal with anybody right now.

She pulls her phone out of her pocket, about to turn it off completely when she sees the caller ID. She decides to accept the call and puts her phone against her ear.

"Yo, 'sup?" A deep voice reverberates from the other line, making Lauren smile a little at the caller's drawled out voice. She can already picture how high he must be right now, and to be honest, she's a little bit jealous.

"Hey Ty," she greets back softly, bringing her free hand to her face and gently pinches the bridge of her nose. She can feel an impending headache coming and there's no way she can stop it.

"Heard you stormed out of an interview," he says and Lauren fights back a sigh. One thing she loves and hates about Ty, is that he doesn't believe in small talk; when he wants to talk about something, he goes for it immediately. "That was whack, man. You coulda seriously gotten into trouble with them contracts and shit."

"I know," Lauren sighs and closes her eyes. "I didn't know what came over me." That is a lie, for she knows exactly what came over her.

"Oh, but you did," seems like Ty read her thoughts. Lauren chuckles humorlessly. Of course he knows her better than a lot of people now. With all the bullshit happening lately, only him and a few other people in their circle of friends that society calls 'potheads' continued to have her back. Despite their not-so-stellar reputation when it comes to certain things, Lauren can't deny the fact that Ty and their friends have become her rock lately.

"Look Laur," Ty says seriously when Lauren doesn't respond, "I know the thing about Camila is messed up, but you know you can't just walk out of an interview for no reason--"

"Camila is awake."

Lauren doesn't know why she just told Ty, but she's tired of everything, and she needs someone to vent to. "I walked out because I had to go to the hospital."

"Oh," he responds in a voice that makes him sound like he is on his merry way to dreamland, drawing out his 'o' sound. Fuck, how high is he? "So, how is she?"

"I wouldn't know," Lauren shrugs and absently kicks the pebble on the pavement, watching it roll away from her, "I bolted out before we could even talk."

"What? Why? Don't tell me you chicken out?"

"No," Lauren frowns. She isn't a chicken. She's far from it--okay, maybe she is a little. "I just don't feel like I'm needed there."

"Laur--"

"Her boyfriend is there, okay!" She snaps defensively, gripping her phone tight with her one hand and cradling her forehead with her free one. She sighs afterwards. Ty didn't do anything wrong to deserve being snapped at, but she just can't bring herself to apologize. She can't bring herself to care about anything right now.

"Lemme guess, you're hiding out somewhere right now, amirite?" Ty chuckles, and Lauren sucks air in between her teeth. She doesn't need any of this shit right now.

He must've sensed her annoyance because he sobers up, "Look, Laur. I know that you think Camila doesn't need you anymore or some'n now that she has this skinny ass white boy all over her," Lauren can't help but smile at his attempt to make her feel better, "but you're Lauren fucking Jauregui, man. You don't easily back down on a battle without a fight, do you?"

Lauren exhales, "No.."

"Damn straight," Ty quips and Lauren knows he's smiling on the other end of the call. "Now get that pasty ass of yours back up and go get your girl."

Lauren is now smiling widely as she rolls her eyes, "Okay, enough with the white jokes. Fucking racist," she jokes back, chuckling softly as he laughs with her. Trust Ty to make her feel better in his own way.

"Thank you Ty," she says after their laugh dies down, gratitude filling up her chest as she feels better now that she had this talk with him.

"Hey, that's what friends are for, Jauregui," Ty says. They talk for a few more minutes before hanging up.

Lauren exhales and stares at the ground, thinking of what her best course of action will be. She can't just barge back in now after somehow making a scene earlier.

Her phone buzzes once more and she sighs after glancing at the caller ID. She reluctantly accepts the call. "Mani, I really don't need a lecture right now--"

"Lauren."

Lauren's breath hitches and her heart starts pounding hard as she hears that husky voice that always makes her stomach flutter all these years. She feels paralyzed from where she is sitting, butterflies erupting inside her chest as she clutches onto her phone tight, not able to find her voice.

"L-Lauren, are you there?" Camila asks hesitantly, weakness still evident her hoarse voice. Lauren places a hand to her chest, willing it to stop pounding as clears her throat.

"Yeah, I-I'm here," she breathes out and runs her fingers through her hair.

"Why did you leave?"

The green-eyed girl bites her lip, guilt creeping its ugly way up her chest at Camila's words. "I-I just needed some air," she lies. Only Camila can knock down all her defenses easily with only a few words.

"Please come back," Camila pleads softly, and Lauren knows that she's on the verge of crying. The thought of the brunette shedding more tears for her makes her ball her free hand into a fist. Lauren knows she has already done enough to hurt her. And as fucked up as their history was, she knows she won't make the same mistakes anymore.

She's going to fight for her girl this time, even if it's the last thing she'll ever do.

"I'm on my way," Lauren says firmly, getting up on her feet with a newfound determination. She hangs up and dusts herself off, sprinting back into the hospital.

She manages to hide herself from a few paparazzis camping out at the other side of the hospital as she slows her pace and pretends to be casually talking to a doctor who just answers her questions with a weirded out expression because she literally just came out of nowhere and walked with him as if they already knew each other for a while now.

"Thanks, doc." Lauren pats the doctors shoulder and smirks as soon as they're out of the paparazzi's sight before sprinting again, reaching towards the same hallway that leads to Camila's room.

She stops as she reaches in front of the door, nerves gripping her once more as she slowly reaches for the door knob. But there's no turning back now, there's been enough running away already, and it has to stop now.