The Silver Lining

Chapter - 6

There was a silence to my soul as I felt the chill in my blood, coldness bringing the synapses of my brain to a stand still. Part of it was pain, yet I could endure it, and the other I could sleep through night after night without the anaesthesia of false hope.

My mind went back to the time when my world was a hurricane of ice.

For hours I would have no emotion, only an urge to move fast; then, all at once, I'd be on the floor, shaking with a grief that seeped from my bones. Days became weeks, and weeks became months, and in every single moment of every single day my soul asked,

God, why am I still alive?

Suddenly, there was a hope to prove them wrong. To show them that I wasn't a mistake.

People said that in the company of a true friend a real smile can return, a real laugh, real warmth.

And when I thought I got one… everything came crashing down.

But I couldn't blame them. I let them play with my feelings. After everything I learned from my past, how could I let someone fool me so easily?

I looked at Melissa, who was playing with her fingers. At least she had the courage and decency to confess to my face. She could have continued playing with me but decided against it and that's the thing which made her different from the others. She listened to her inner voice, something that I never did.

I sighed, "It's okay, Melissa. I really appreciate that you chose to tell me the truth and stood up against the others to protect me... but you don't need to do that. I can protect myself, so please don't do this again."

She looked at me, dumbfounded, probably expecting lots of screaming or drama.

The disappointment was there, even though I considered myself decent at hiding it, masking it with normal human emotions.

I gave her a small smile and stood up, grabbing my stuff. "I have to leave now. Thanks again."

With that, I walked outside, leaving her still in a state of shock.

After stepping outside, I shook my head when I realized that I had just killed her with my kindness, and she knew that I had learnt enough from my mistakes.

"Ashley, wait..."

I stopped but didn't turn, knowing whose voice it was.

Melissa stopped in front of me, catching her breath and saying, "Sorry... It took me a while to recover from that shock. But listen, when I said I stopped supporting them... I really meant it. I know whatever I did was awful and I'm feeling so guilty about it. That's why when I saw my brother with you in hallway..."

"You saved me out of guilt." I gave her a knowing look.

"No," she quickly denied, waving her hand. "I didn't want him to hurt you..."

"And you think he will listen to you?" I crossed my arms.

"Don't worry about that, I know how to handle my younger brother."

I nodded and checked my watch, realising I had half an hour left to reached home on time.

"Okay. So," I turned my face to bid her goodbye but stopped when there was no one.

"Here." A voice called and I jumped backward, finding her sitting on her knees.

"Melissa, what the hell are you doing?" I hissed, looking around to make sure nobody was there.

"I know you're not showing it but you must be so hurt and angry at me. Please, forgive me? I swear, when I promised you in cafeteria, I mean it from my heart. You can scream at me but don't give me the cold shoulder. My friends are all a bunch of dummies so please don't leave me with them," she said, joining her hands and begging.

"Melissa, get up. This isn't a movie." I grabbed her by her shoulders and eventually she stood up.

"But this thing always works," she whined. "C'mon... Don't act like a ice queen." She nudged my shoulder.

"Maybe I am one?"

She rolled her eyes, "No. You're the kindest person I've met so far. I mean, who would react so calmly to that confession? Honestly, I was expecting a punch but I took the risk."

I blinked, to confirm that it wasn't dream. This was the first time someone had called me a kind or sweet person. I looked away so that Melissa wouldn't catch the hidden tears in my eyes.

“You’re probably feeling like you know me by now, gotten a feeling for who I am, what my background might be,” I muttered quietly then narrowed my eyes at her. “But you don’t know, not really. I’ll tell you things about me later on, things no-one else knows, just to show you that I’ve made mistakes too, that I can get angry, feel vengeful and hateful. I still make mistakes and making you my friend,” I stopped to catch my breath and pointed a finger towards her, “was one of them.”

The hurt was clearly visible on her face as she blinked back tears. In that moment, I saw myself instead of her. How I begged and tried to explain myself but no one ever listened to me. They just created an image of spoiled Ashley and went along with it.

I closed my eyes to clear out the images and then opened them with a small smile on my face. “I forgive you.”

She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, probably having a hard time believing what just happened. I shook my head and nudged her shoulder. “I can't promise about being friends with you but I want to forget everything that happened in the past, so just smile and let me go. It’s getting late.”

It took her a few minutes to process everything and then she jumped to hug me. “Thank you, Ashley. I can finally sleep peacefully.”

I rolled my eyes at her comment.

She pulled back and grinned, “And of course, take your time, but I can see us hanging out all the time. I'm like a magnet, you can't stay away from me.”

A laugh escaped my mouth before I could control it. “We’ll see.”

She wiggled her eyebrows, “Sure.”

I waved goodbye to her before crossing the street and walking away.

Looking at the sky, I finally said, "Do you still have something left for me?"