It hurts to be Me

depression

it is not my fault

everyday forcing smiles

faking this mask

i lost it 

i lost my faith

i lost my identity

i lost everything

i go to school and 

i cant breathe 

i cant act 

i can not... 

Im sorry...

                I'm making other people see my pain

they mistaken my tears for weakness

but i have no strengths for there to be weakness

for now i can't breathe, i cant feel anything

but the numbness that makes my foot move foward

my heart still beats, yet my body is dead 

and the idea of living is a fantasy world 

near but far, and i wont stop until i reach it.

yet, its so far that I cant reach my arms out to catch it 

no, this is not right.

I want to live.

but every time I try to pull myself off the bed,

the bed pulls me back in holding my head hostage.

So when I say, I'm unable to feel or move, its because my head is keeping me captive. 

and that's enough to stay in my own puddle where no dares to jump into.

yes its enough