A/N: I just spent an hour uploading to all my different accounts across the great and wonderful Internet. I need better time management skills…and better ways to upload all this. As such, I had few reviews and am transcribing a piece I wrote months ago. It’s a nice break from the information we already knew, but it reads a bit too much like filler to me. Really, I’m just playing for time because I don’t want to deal with Morgana during Lady of the Lake.
Thank you to Glacier22 from ff.net for following, and a guest on AO3 for the kudos!
“Merlin, it’s happening again.” I look over towards my bedpost, where cracks have begun to splinter. So far, Gwen has said nothing.
“Are you taking your sleeping draught?”
“You mean my prescribed suppressant?” The moment I stopped my sleeping draughts, due to the bracelet, my magic became ten times as strong. I sneaked a vial out to Morgause. The potion was laced with ingredients that limit an enchantress’s abilities.
“Morgana…” No. Please don’t argue this with me.
“I can’t go back, Merlin, not now.” I can feel it in my bones, radiating out into every part of me. A desperate need for my magic to not stay in the dark anymore, growing stronger. Morgause’s lessons are grueling, testing my magic until it breaks. As awful as it may feel, it is invigorating, knowing I’m exhausted due to such a power. Merlin’s eyes flicker, between a shade of doubt and pity. They are like the ocean sometimes, so calm from a distance, but once closer, you see the turmoil.
“Come with me.” It is strange to be able to walk with such a purpose through the castle, and not worry about being caught. The knights pay us no heed, though Arthur gives Merlin a look I cannot decipher as he passes. I follow Merlin to his room, a complete disarray of belongings and clutter. “Icthay neamen dorsius!” A thick, leather-bound book appears in the midst of the chaos erupted onto the floor of Merlin’s quarters.
“Okay. You can make things invisible. And back to opaque. That’s easy, right?” Merlin barks out a laugh, and my heart sinks.
“That one took me weeks-no, maybe a month.” Oh. Well, no invisibility tricks for me then. Such a pity. I would abuse that power. Make Arthur think he was insane…actually drive him insane by tricking him into thinking he was mad. “No, the point was that I’m lending you this book. Gaius is lending it to me, and I’m still pretending like I haven’t told you about my magic.” Please. Merlin spends so much time around me; it would be a miracle if Gaius were still in the dark. Still, I refrain from commenting. It would be awful to give up these few moments of bliss. “Morgana? You still there?” I shake myself from my thoughts. “As I was saying, basically, if you don’t find a place for this, we’re all doomed. Don’t let Gwen see it.” Gwen. Sweet, loyal Gwen. Would she turn on me if she knew? On Merlin? I suppose it would be for the best if she never found out about all of this.
“Thank you, Merlin.” I mean it. Many of my thanks have been given without true gratitude, merely as a formality. But this is a sign of trust. And I appreciate that more than words can express.
“Glad I could be of help.” He shoots me a tentative smile as he entrusts me with the book of secrets. As I begin to leave, I feel the urge to say more. But what else is there to say? Shaking my head, I continue walking, book tightly held against my chest.
“Gwen, have you seen my bracelet?” My eyes skim the nightstand, the dresser, anywhere I might have left it. I cannot return to the sleeping draughts.
YOU ARE READING
To Keep You Safe
FanfictionAll Morgana Pendragon knew her entire life was loneliness. And slowly, the secrets and the darkness destroyed her. But if she had a confidant, who could help her, to find some way out of this cruel, cold, desperation? What could she have become?
