A/N: 12:00 Saturday, August 16th: It is midnight and I’m still transcribing. Screw you all, I’m posting it next week, I need some sleep to go to church tomorrow morning. I’ll just get ahead and be extra prepared.
Updates will continue to be on Saturdays from now on, though I’m unsure as to how quickly I’ll write the next one-school is coming. As is Doctor Who tonight, so I’d better finish this.
Thanks to Lady Flurryous on AO3 for the kudos, and fanfiction's Hitokiri-Raijin, Riy, Tsuta-chan, neils1995, voldyismyfather, whitewolf 25276, kurotenshi-08, ladygoddess8, and mersan123 for following/favoriting.
Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.
This chapter was inspired by Coldplay’s “Fix You,” and the end by Daughtry’s “Waiting for Superman”.
When I awake, it is like I am underwater, being forced to stay beneath and breathe, though I know the liquid will fill my lungs. There is cold pressing all around me, and I gasp for breath. The healing bracelet is still on my arm, completely intact. So why are the horrors still coming, still whispering of Hell’s own demons, still with me?
“Morgana!” Shut up, leave me alone.
And the door bursts open. “Morgana!”
“Get out!” Arthur has kicked down my door and is standing in full armor, sword drawn and pointed at me.
“I heard screaming.” Well, shite.
“I’m fine, now get out.” Let me be, let me cry without you watching.
“No, you’re not.” He sheaths his sword and takes a seat on the edge of my bed. “I know that face, I know those words. You say you’re fine, but you’re crumbling, breaking like glass. You smile, but you’re just waiting until they all stop watching to dissolve. We’re withering, you and I. We’re a shell of who we once were. All that will be left of us by the end will be a bitter fragment of our souls, so twisted and warped they’re no longer recognizable.” And I snap like a cord.
“There is no we involved in this. Do not for one moment pretend like you know me, like we are the same. I’ve seen you at galas and banquets, and I’ve seen you when you’re alone. There is no mask, no discernment between your true self and who you are around others, because there is no need for you to have one. You have no idea who I am.” His lips press into a small smile, not unlike the one I wear so often.
“The best mask is one that stays on permanently. It has veins so deep you believe they’re real. But they’re not. So I’ll ask again, why did I hear screaming?”
“What do you want from me?”
“Acknowledgement that your fears have tormented you enough to leave you screaming. That you can’t keep up the pretenses. And then I want to know what made you scream so loudly that I thought you were being attacked.” Oh, that sounds like fun.
YOU ARE READING
To Keep You Safe
FanficAll Morgana Pendragon knew her entire life was loneliness. And slowly, the secrets and the darkness destroyed her. But if she had a confidant, who could help her, to find some way out of this cruel, cold, desperation? What could she have become?
