I love you.
I don't care if you hate me, I love you.
I love your brown eyes I love your structured face, I love your smile, I love your shitty jokes that made me laugh. I love you.
I don't want this to be the end, but I know it is.
I don't want to leave your memories behind because I know I can't.
Amelia. I'm sorry. I told you I needed reassurance, I told you I was always paranoid. After what happened last time, I thought you fell out of love with me. And now you have truly fallen out of love and replaced it with pure hatred for me.
I could never hate you. I love you. I've always loved you. I've been in love with you for around a year and a half. I've never stopped, and I'm never going to in the future.
I wish I didn't do what I did. I'm regretting it every second, I can't concentrate on anything, I'm failing my drumming grades because I can't focus without you. You were my love, honestly you were my everything and now I know what I've truly lost.
Amelia I'm sorry, not even a thousand apologies could stop you from hating me, I know but this isn't a guilt trip, or for me to stop you from at least hating me. I'm just sorry, I truly am.
I want to have a future with you, I want to help you, I want to be there for you.
I have so much more to say, but I doubt you'd want to read it all.
I'm here for you. Amelia I'm here for you always, message me when you're sad and I'll reply in an instant, Amelia I want you to be happy and me doing this obviously didn't make you happy- it just made you feel worse and made you hate me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Please take care of yourself, if you run out of people to talk to when you're sad, please message me. I don't care. I want you to message me if you're upset. I want to still be there for you- fuck, I still want a future with you. I want to hold your hand and tell you you're going to be okay, I want to be there for you to make sure you're okay, I want to help you when you need someone to help you with something. Honestly, Amelia. Just fuck me. I feel terrible. I know I have no right to feel like this considering I was the one who did it to myself, but I want you. I miss you, Amelia. I miss you so much.
If you could hear how sorry I am, I think you might understand. I just can't take it. It's been what? Two days and I'm already missing you. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. You are the love of my life. I don't want you back, I know you never want me back in your life, but, just please. Just please know I'm always here. Please Amelia. I still care about you, I want you to feel happy, I want you to feel like you're okay, I want you to get the world. I just knew i was a burden and you wouldn't reach your happiness with me dragging you down.
You've probably not even seen this been uploaded- but in the off chance you have, just, I don't know. I want you to see this, and I just want you to know I'm here. And I love you.
So, I don't know. Goodbye. I love you. I love you so much.
