Remembering Us

"She's Still Asleep"

"Cameron." A hand shakes my shoulder until my eyes open. I cringe as I sit up and a kink in my neck sends pain radiating through me.

"Hey." Isaiah has a sympathetic look on his face and my eyes wander to my wife.

She looks so peaceful. As if there's not a care in the world.

"Cameron, you should go home."

"Absolutely not." My voice is tight. How could he even suggest me leaving?

"I know this is hard-"

"You don't know anything!" I jerk around in the chair and roar at him, not knowing where this anger is coming from. "You have no idea what this is like."

"Did you forget that I ruined Meghan and I's relationship? That I lost her for five years. Five years with her that I will never get back." He growls at me and I start to feel bad. "When I lost her I didn't have an ounce of hope that I would get her back. You do. You have hope."

I know he's right but for some reason, I find no comfort.

"You also have kids at home waiting for you." He voice softens. "Your kids need you, Cameron. You have to be strong for them."

My eyes don't leave Lia as I grab her soft, pale hand in mine.

"Eat, shower, sleep in your own bed. Someone will be with her at all times." Isaiah rests his hand on my shoulder. "You need to take care of yourself."

I stand up and rest my lips on Lia's forehead. "I'm going to go check on the kids and shower so I smell good when you wake up," I whisper to her. "I'll wear that shirt you love, okay? But, you'll have to wake up to see it." After giving her lips a peck, I straighten up and head toward the door.

"I'm sorry for being an ass." I spare Isaiah. a glance.

"It's cool, I'm used to it."

I give him a mock glare.

"Also, I kind of remember being a complete ass everytime something with Meghan happened. So, I think you've earned a few asshole moments."

I clap him on the back. "Call me if anything changes. And I mean anything."

He mock salutes me and leave the room.

When I walk through the private waiting room, I notice all of our family has left. Meghan is the only person sitting there. When she sees me, she shoots up out of the chair.

She looks as broken as I feel.

"Oh, I'm so glad he convinced you to go home."

"You should go home too." I tell her, knowing she too will lash out at Isaiah if he's the one to suggest it.

"I did right after you got here." She tells me then rolls her eyes. "Isaiah pulled the kids card."

"Yeah," I chuckle, nodding. "For me too."

"So, I went home, made my children dinner, bathed them, and put them in bed."

"Meghan, you need to get some sleep." She's the only one who loves Amelia almost as much as I do. I need her support.

"Remeber how my labor with Leah was super long? And Mia just got into bed with me to get some sleep?"

"Yes?" I question, not knowing where she's going with this.

"I'm just gonna go get in bed with your wife."

"If you weren't you," I tell her, my eyebrows furrowing. "That would be really weird."

"Shut-up," She scoffs with humor. "Go tell your children goodnight."

"Take care of her Meghan."

"See you in the morning." She starts walking toward Amelia's room and waves back at me as I head toward the elevator.

I rest my head against the wall of the elevator and sigh. I just slept for five hours yet I feel exhausted.

When I exit the hospital, Samuel pulls the limo in front of me.

"Home Samuel." I tell him once I'm sitting in the limo.

Ten minutes later the stone mansion Amelia and I have lived in for the past ten years comes into view. All of the lights are turned off and it's completely silent when I walk inside.

"Kids?" I whisper, looking into Ryder and Theo's room. I start to grow concerned when I can't find any of my children. I mean there's five of them...

My phone chimes and I pull it out.

Xander: We're all in your and mom's room.

When I walk into mine and Amelia's room, I see that our children have made themselves comfortable.  Theo and Ryder are in the bed and Xander is lying on the couch. Mayzie and Zoey look comfortable on the blow-up mattress.

"Hey, Dad." Zoey whispers. "I think Zander and I are the only ones still up."

"No, I'm up too." Ryder whispers. "Dad, how's mom?"

"She's still asleep." I tell them not going into detail. "We'll talk more in the morning."

"Okay." Ryder yawns. "Goodnight Dad."

"Goodnight Bud." I cringe when Mayzie groans and rolls over.

I don't even change out of my clothes, I simply take off my suit jacket and get into bed next to Theo.

"Did you two know your mother was pregnant?" I ask once I hear Ryder's soft snoring.

"Yes." Zoey mutters while Zander whispers a 'no'.

"She got a mug to tell you." Zoey says. "It's downstairs."

"Why did mom tell you and not me?" Zander whispers sharply and I roll my eyes. I didn't know either.

"I had a nightmare and she was trying to make me feel better."

My body launches forward. "When did your nightmares comeback?" Zoey stop having nightmares years ago, why are they suddenly back? Her thrashing, screaming, six-year-old body comes back to mind. "Zoey?" My voice comes out sharper when she doesn't answer me and Theo suddenly jumps in his sleep.

"I just had one. I think it was because the school had just given a mass shooting speech."

"When did this happen?"

"The night you went to London." She yawns.

"Okay, well talk more in the morning." I can almost hear her screams from that night over ten years ago.

"Goodnight Dad." She yawns again and the screams disappear. "Love you."

Minutes later, her breathing evens out.

"They don't know when she's going to wake up do they?" Zander asks.

"No." My voice echoes through the dark room. "They don't."

***
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