"Things aren't always as they seem" I say beneath my breath with my eyes focused on the ground.
"How do you mean?" Josh asks trying to get me to look at him.
I lift my eyes from the ground, and lock it into his. "There's a lot more going on other than what you see or notice."
"I know" he answers. "And that's why I'm here" he pauses as he intensifies his gaze. "No matter what is going on
with you, I'll always be here for you. But there's only little I can do if I don't know how bad things really are."
I manage to take my eyes off his and also keep myself from bursting into tears. God knows how much I want to open up to Josh. If only I could. I know that my days are coming to an end, and I don't want to LEAVE without a proper explanation. I stare into space as I decide to break the awkward silence. "You'll find out everything when i leave." There's thought of leaving sends streams of uncontrollable tears. I can only imagine how they'd feel when they realise I'm gone.
"Leave?" Josh asks in a confused tone. "To where? Are you travelling? "
"I wish..." I laugh sarcastically
"What do you mean by 'I wish'?"
" Well," I begin. "We just had a shit talk about being honest and stuff like that and well, I guess it's time for me to be honest too."
I can't believe what I'm about to do. Am I planning on telling him EVERYTHING?
As I gesture to begin the 'truth talk ', the doorbell rings.
"Oh I forgot to mention, Ally said she'd come by later." Josh tells me.
As I open the door, Ally greets me with a couple boxes of pizza forcing me to carry it.
"I hope I didn't miss anything" She said so casually as if the last five seconds didn't just happen.
"Well, you're just in time I guess." I say as I usher her to the couch where Josh is seated.
"Why does he look like he's suffering from a broken heart? " Ally asks teasingly referring to Josh.
"Lilly is leaving." Josh explains with a blank face.
"Leaving? Why?" Ally asked with obvious confusion.
"I don't have a choice guys " I explain staring blankly at the floor.
"What do you mean?" Ally asks while Josh's expression shows he's asking the same question.
"Don't worry I'm going to explain
everything."
All eyes are on me now. I can't possibly back out. I HAVE to spill.
