Namjoon - a BTS Fanfic

Chapter Seven: The Change

Satomi and I locked gazes across the workplace when we both sent the same sort of text to Namjoon. I read it over multiple times after I sent it.

L: Hey, I heard you were coming to America sometime next week. 

I know this might be difficult, but could I meet you somewhere by any 

chance? It wouldn't have to be for long x

I cringed a little, but I shook it off. Satomi sent me a screenshot of her conversation with him, and the text was right around the same sort of thing. Perfect.

Hours went by, and the work day came to an end. My coworker and I had been continuously sneak-checking our phones every time a notification sounded just to make sure it wasn't him replying to our scheme. There wasn't a response, not even a "read." It was so stressful and so horrible, sitting there waiting for a slight ding or buzz that would launch phase two of our plan.

Oh, right. The plan...

Satomi and I decided that we would both meet up in the same area only fifteen or so minutes apart. She'd go first, meet him, and if all went well, I would go in after. We would plan to meet at the same place and know each other, right in front of RM. And we couldn't stay for longer than fifteen minutes, because Satomi was to get the car ready for my departure  a few blocks away. 

The worst part of the plan was that I couldn't "have any leftover feelings" for him. Gosh, I fell in love online with him. Why did I have true feelings, not just a celebrity crush? I would have to swallow my appreciation and all of the happiness from the friendship we'd established and only carry out the plan. I felt like a soldier carrying out orders against what I believed in. Yet again, wasn't it my idea to launch this whole plan to expose him? To be completely honest, I didn't know what I was doing. I got to feel bad for the guy, I mean, he's lonely and wants love. That feeling of betrayal really took over me and made me want to expose him in a harsh way. I'm regretting this, even though the plan is already set and arrangements have been made. 

Satomi went out with someone and so I was left to drive home, alone. When I walked into my apartment, it was cold and it still smelled like the spilled coffee from last night. Was I so caught up in my revenge that I forgot that Namjoon was a person, too? How would I like it if I were exposed like this? With anger, I ripped down a poster of Namjoon from the wall.

I collapsed onto my bed and began to sob. 

What was I doing? How in the world did I ever think it was fair to hurt someone I've looked up to for so long? He was hanging in pictures around my room, and now I wanted to tear them down? What for? Exposing him wouldn't change him. Yet, Satomi was so set on "punishing" him for what he lied about. Maybe I could convince her not to do this plan, and just forget about it? But no, he would keep texting Satomi and I'd get jealous, and he'd keep texting me and Satomi would get jealous.

I sniffed and rolled out of bed, and looked at the crumpled piece of paper now with a small rip at the top. Namjoon's adorable dimples gleamed back at me, like nothing ever happened. I reached for the poster and delicately tacked it to the wall again, where it belonged.

What if, instead of exposing him...

I confessed?

***

It was 5:00 am, and I hadn't been able to sleep. I've been waiting for him to respond to me. I couldn't get over the fact that I had a number-- a key-- to an international sensation. Yes, yes, and I also could have the key to his heart. If he longed for love so much that he did this, then I'd feel horrible to leave him even more alone if I'd exposed him. What if he wanted to continue this long-distance friendship/relationship with me instead of never texting me again? That would be a good thing for the both of us, right? What if--