Tyler's boy

self doubt ~warning self-harming~

        Tyler wakes up the next morning, all he has been able to do since last night was think of Andrew. "This is a real man who like me for me", he says to himself, he almost couldn't believe it. Tyler never thought he would hear him say those words out loud, the truth is Tyler isn't exactly happy with himself. Late at night he would think of all the horrible things the people at school would call him, even some of his closest friends who Tyler thought would never betray him left him all alone because he was gay. He would get punched and kicked and spit on but nothing hurt more than the words that were thrown at him; those words caused him enough pain to begin to self harm. Sometimes he misses the pleasure it brought him to watch his arms grow a bright red, the pain ever so soft that he would not feel it after the first few slices only to have his arm burn and crack in the aftermath of the horrible night he had previous. 

        Forgetting where his thoughts had just led him he pulls out the card and starts to dial just realizing that its only 7am and he probably shouldn't call this early plus he doesn't want to seem over eager. Tyler decides that he'll call around noon maybe they can grab some lunch or something. Not knowing what to do he decides to go shopping maybe go get some new clothes 'becuase too much is never enough' .

        He walked around town for awhile before finding a little shop that looked like it could fit his style, i mean not many places do but it was worth a shot. He walked in and started to look around, and he found a shirt that read 'sad sick world' on it and he began to think how true this statement was. It was almost noon so he bought the shirt and headed back to the hotel not wanting to look like an overly excited fangirl who's talking to her idol in public. While he was walking he began to feel this weight in his stomach, it felt like a dark hole that was consuming his guts and dragging him down. Doubting himself he thinks that hes not good enough and that Andrew only did this to get a good laugh out of a stupid, worthless boy far from home.