It's Complicated

(This chapter is going to have some sexual interaction. I warn you now.)

"Hey guys!" I say and smile brightly as I stare into the camera lens. "I know I haven't made a video in a while, and I'm sorry about that. I've been very busy with the people in my life right now and I couldn't be any happier." I decided it was time to get Ash off my mind. Right now he's on tour again with One Direction, and it kills me to not see him. We video chat every night but it's nothing like having him with me.

Mack is upset and lonely too. We usually end up hanging out with each other almost everyday. It's depressing to have the person you love the most be taken away from you and not being able to see them for months. Actually, it's already been 6 weeks since they left. Six whole weeks since I've kissed my sunshine. But this is what I'll have to put up with for as long as I can handle.

"So, as you all know, Ash is on tour again so I thought it'd be cool to do my own things." I say and my eyebrows go up in excitement.
"I'm going to have my very own tent at Vidcon! I'll be there for the next two months and I'm so excited! You can order tickets in the link below or you can buy them there!" I say and point down where it would be.

The coolest part about it is that I'm allowed to bring one friend with me so that means I get to bring Mack! I'm so excited because we get to meet our favorite YouTubers and I get to meet so many of my amazing fans! It'll also take our minds off of Luke and Ash.

"So if you want you can go have a look, the link has the list of all the other YouTubers that will be there and where they will be!" I clap my hand and sign off. "That's it for today!" I wave and cross my eyes and quickly turn off the camera. I look through it, add music, touch it up and then post it up on YouTube.

I sigh and fall back into my bed. This is the hardest thing. I look over at my clock and notice that it's only 9:24 a.m. That means I can call Ashton!

I pull out my phone swiftly and click on his name.

Ring

Ring

Ri-

"Hello?" a familiar accent fills my ears.
"Hey, babe." I say and laugh.
"Oh my gosh, I miss you so much, Danielle!" He says sadly.
"I miss you too." I say and sigh. I twist my hair around my finger.
"How's the tour going?" I ask and stare up at the ceiling.
"Oh, it's so amazing, Danielle. All the fans and all these different places. I'm defiantly living the life. But I miss you so much and I can't wait until I can visit. We'll be near LA soon. I'll come and stay for as long as I can. We have a break in LA." he says excitedly.

I smile at the thought of being able to be with him for a while. "That sounds amazing, Ash. I can't wa-" I start to say something and then I hear a loud crashing sound through the phone, so loud that it causes a ringing sound to fill my ears. "A-sh?!" I say his name but get no reply. "ASHTON?" I yell but still no response. Why is he not saying anything?! Are they on the tour bus?

A tear rolls down as I imagine all the things that could be wrong. "ASHTON PLEASE!" I yell into the phone, now starting to cry. I don't hang up, I need to know what is happening. "ASHT-" I get cut off by a deep voice. "I'm sorry ma'am, the person you were talking to just got in a wreck and is now on his way to the hospital." The officer says and hangs up the phone.

I lay down and throw my phone at the ground. My head starts to throb and my throat starts to burn. Sobbing uncontrollably, blaming myself. If he was driving I was probably the reason they crashed. I'M THE REASON. IT WAS MY FAULT.

I lay there and cry until I eventually fall asleep.

My dreams quickly turn into the nightmare that I'm living right now. The sound of the loud crash haunting me, never leaving me. The sound his voice filling my ears. The 'I miss you's', the 'I love you's', the 'I need you's'.