I Will Not Burn (a fullmetal alchemist story)

2 - I Must Survive

'Everyday I must live, and survive for the next. I will not end or give up. I will live. Until he is destroyed.' The words echo on and on inside my head as if they where being spoken by someone inside if me.

I must survive.

I hear the leaves under my feet and the wind in the trees. And I hear someone coming after me, calling my name. Skcawgai, that idiot.

He comes closer until he is beside me.

"I'm not going back and you can't change my mind." I tell him.

"I know." He says.

I scowl. "Then why are you following me? Leave me alone."

"I'm afraid I can't do that. I promised Hikaru that-"

"That you'd watch over me and bring me back to the path of god?"

He didn't seem surprised that I knew. "I'm here to help you, Tamara."

I walk faster. "Yeah, well, I don't need your help."

I trudged through the darkness a head of me hoping to see some kind of light. I slow down when I notice I'm at the edge of the forest. A wide open field lays ahead in its wake. What I'm going to do is something I have yet to ask myself.

Unfortunately Skcawgai caught up to me and stood on my left. "I'm leaving." I said.

He smiles "yeah, no figures."

"I'm leaving and I don't think I'll be coming back."

"Hum."

"So, this is good bye." I say taking a deep breath.

"Yup." He says nodding.

"Well, b-"

He turns and waves at the forest. "Bye!" He yells.

What is he...

"You are NOT coming with me!" I tell him.

"Well, I'm not letting you leave alone." He said stubbornly.

"I said no and I mean it."

I turned and started to walk away. But before I could get far, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back, causing me to fall towards the woods.

"Hey! What'd you do that for?!" I screamed, clutching the arm I landed on which stung like hell.

"Tamara, just this once will you listen to me?!" He yelled. "Are you really so stupid as to not to see how this will turn out?!"

I scowled. "There's nothing you can say that..."

"If you keep this up you'll go insane! The anger will consume you until there's nothing left! Don't you see? All those years, you where always angry, but I know that's not all that's inside you! I know there's good! You should live your life because you want to live, not because you want to kill!"

"This is none of your business, Skcawgai." I say quietly.

Using my good arm, I lift myself to my feet and stand I front of him, eye to eye (even if he is a little bit taller than me).

"What happens to me is my fault and mine alone. I excepted my fate a long time ago" I tell him.

He frowns. "What's going to happen after you do kill Mustang? What you going to do?"

"I'll no longer have a purpose, a reason to live." I half hoped he didn't hear that through my mumbling.

For a moment he stood there staring into my eyes, then he rejesterd what I said and his eyes widened. "You don't mean...you'll end your own life?"

I didn't answer. I had no need to. We both know what I meant and that I'm not joking around about this. Mustang is the reason I live, the world will be glad to be free of another ruthless, cruel, murderer.

"Why do you want to come anyway?" I ask, suddenly changing the subject.

"I told you, I need to protect you." He said, still eyes wide.

"I can protect myself." I insist.

"The anger inside you will only grow, I want to be there to help you make the right decisions. If I don't come you'll end up in jail or something."

"Your only doing this because Hikaru asked you."

"Forget Hikaru! I'm doing this because I'm your friend and I want to help you."

I sighed. Putting my hands in my pockets, I turned and again, began to walk away. I didn't turn back to look at him.

"I'm not letting you come with me, but I can't stop you from following me." I tell him heading towards the small town with lights that look like stars from a distance.