Becoming A Butterfly

Understand yourself

I know by now you are trying to figure out “how am i related to a butterfly? And why not a lion or any other animal that is stronger and bigger”. Well there is an animal in everyone. Some exhibit various animals at the same time. The difference is the animal you chose to become. We adapt to the very environment we are presently in. Standing at that position observing the butterflies moving about, I saw the freedom. What many people strive for but is obviously out of reach for many.
Butterflies are free creatures that move about as they please. They are not worried about what tomorrow will bring. They are sure of themselves. They fly about with confidence even in strong winds and scorching sun. Their beauty does not fade even in the darkest of days. They go with the season. Charles Dickens explained the desire of freedom in us humans when he compared freedom to butterflies. He said “I only ask to be free. Butterflies are free.”
A butterfly is known to go through various stages. An adult female lays dozens of eggs but from them less than half the number makes it to adulthood.  We are also full of ideas and plans that we set forth before us. The difference is how we approach what we have and our utilization of the opportunities presented to us. Some are born with privileges while others have to struggle through life. Most people believe that they cannot make it because we are not fortunate. That is where we go wrong. Just as a butterfly we are to struggle to make it through daily without much effort and understanding.
Come to think about it. No one really knows what the future holds. Because of this, we sometimes tend to force situations to happen and end up with regret and great disappointment when what we expected does not happen. I personally have a fast hand experience in this. The difference is how we go through, the lessons we learn and our outcome from the experience.
A butterfly in many ways represents our lives more than we can imagine. In that moment of tranquility, I was brought to realize that my life has been made up of different expectations and dreams that when not fulfilled I change my demeanor without noticing. I began to imagine what my life would have been if everything had turned out different. In my sorrowful and gloomy state I saw a big black and white butterfly resting on a leaf with no care in this world. Drawing closer to it, it became agitated and flew past me. ‘Am I really as the butterfly?’ I asked myself. ‘Do I fly away or continue resting only to be swept away by an unexpected event and circumstance?’ Here was an adult butterfly taking cover not to be preyed on by me even though my intentions were to just make an observation.
In life to we tend to forget that we are on the move and the path is made up of hills and valleys. There are mountains and raging rivers. Our lives are in continuous motion with positive and negative impacts being thrown our way.
Just like a butterfly, we develop from egg to larvae, pupa and finally the adult stage. We create ideas, come up with plans and determine their execution to completion. We go through challenges throughout our journeys. Every single aspect of our life grows as a butterfly; whether it is our emotional state, physiological, financial and even in the relationships.
An idea is created as an egg. It is sensitive and any negative thought may as well break the idea.  It’s natured through different situations, fed to keep it growing while protecting it from different preys: larvae and pupa stage, and finally it matures into a beautiful butterfly.
For you to experience becoming a butterfly, you need to understand who you are and what you represent. We are not all the same. Not everyone was cut out if the same cloth at the same place. We have to learn how to fit in whilst not losing our identities. What I have learnt is once you discover who you are the going gets a bit smooth.
Butterflies are often characterized by the color, shape and size of their wings, the food they eat and body size. Some are big while others are small. Some are heavy feeders while others are light eaters. Most are colorful but others are dull. We too are also as different as the butterflies in character and personalities.
It is important to carry out an analysis on ourselves so that we are able to stand out and just not be swayed by the wind and times as it elapses. Just as a butterflies and moths have similarities yet they are so different, so does different aspects of our lives. It is therefore our responsibility to determine if we rest with open wings or closed wings.
There are various steps one can take so as to determine who they are and henceforth reach a level of personal understanding. Below are some of the simple steps and exercises we can take.

Self-assessment
         “Butterflies are caterpillars that fight back and come off with flying colors”
It is important to perform a routinely assessment on your life. This helps to determine what type of butterfly you are. How do you measure and compared to others. Each of us is unique in our gifts and talents. Not everyone shares the same passion or ideas. What you desire is not what I desire for myself. Being able to assess what your strengths and weakness are goes a long way in determining your path to success.
The greatest thing about self-assessment is the ability to set up principles and core values that guide you. A principled person is a principal to all. Do not be easily swayed by the current but rather be on top of the current and move against it. Just because it seems right and great does not necessarily mean it’s okay. You should know your boundaries and avoid stretching them for the benefit of others. Once you respect yourself, others will learn to respect you.
1. Objective assessment
It can be done by simply asking people about you. This however is not an effective as people always tend to lie. The other way is by doing psychological tests such as personality test and learning tests. There are more than 16 different personalities. There is a theory that states that not everyone has the same reaction and experience from lessons learned in life. We all have different outcomes from the same situation.
2. Character assessment
Character defines a person. Your first impression is portrayed by how you carry yourself around people, how you talk and how you walk. You can determine your character by asking yourself simple yet complex questions as below.
i. What is my purpose in life
ii. What defines me
iii. How can I describe myself in one sentence
iv. What is the most important thing I have ever done
v. Which situation changed me
vi. What are my priorities

3. Strength and weakness test (SWAT)
We can easily determine our strengths and weakness from what others tell us.  By writing them down we can compare them to our own determinations. Not all positives are strengths and vice versa. I personally consider my positive weakness to be kindness that people used to take advantage of it until I learnt to speak up. It is not that I got a hand of it but I am still learning that kindness should not be considered weakness.

Friends’ assessment
          “It is not what we have in life that matters but who we have in our lives that matter”.
Whom we surround ourselves with speaks volumes of what we are. How you treat others is drawn from how your friends treat you. As a butterfly, the colony which you are in determines your standing in the niche. This also applies in real life. It is said “show me your friends and I will tell you who you are”.
The environment you set is what you become. If you stay with weaklings you will never grow. Always make sure that there is someone in your clique from whom you can learn. Empty barrels make the loudest noise. Empty friends are full of talk without an agenda. Question the motives of your friends. Ask questions. What benefit am I gaining in all this? How do I profit from those that surround me and still how do they profit from me.
Having the same goals and desires can lead to balance and checks in our lives. Not all butterflies are of the same size and importance but they all depend on each other for survival. Note that not all of your friends may be of value to you but the importance is what lessons you derive from having them. Having a drug addict as a friend can be helpful to both parties involved. You can learn from them and they can benefit by learning from you. In the habitat it is important to be interdependent and have mutual symbiosis.
Though this is true, keeping such people around is not advisable as misery loves company and we are easily manipulated by the situations. “Do not be deceived by bad company. Bad company corrupts good character.”
Other considerations to take into account while understanding yourself is emotions. We should be keen to check our reactions to various situations. Do I have an outburst or I suppress my feelings? Do I suffer from repression or transference? How do I communicate with myself and about myself? How do I interact with others and others with me? How long can I wait for gratification? These are some of the questions to ask yourself when checking your emotions.
It is also of great value to be honest with yourself and let go of your defenses because the process may be painful but it is better to know who you are than live in a bubble. Also listen to what others tell you.
Through this journey, take time and experience life. Learn, travel, let go of expectations and be free.  All in all the best way to understand yourself is living life to the fullest and having fun doing it. Just as a butterfly stop and smell the roses.