The Literature Goddess - Camren

The Goddess

The digits written on the small piece of paper in her hand seemed to have some kind of hypnotic power. Lauren couldn't bring herself to rip her eyes away from them. The fact that this piece of paper was even in her possession was a miracle to her. It was Camila Cabello's number. Lauren's creative writing teacher.

Lauren had always thought she would never fall into the category of people who fall for their teachers. She never thought she'd fall for anyone. But when she first locked eyes with her, on her first day of college, Lauren knew that she'd been wrong. So, so wrong. Truth was, she didn't think anyone could not fall for someone as wonderful as Camila. She was beautiful, well-spoken, talented, smart, funny and... just perfect. The problem was, she was out of reach. She couldn't just walk up to her teacher and ask her out, no matter how hard she wished for it.

Lauren had chosen to major in literature. She loved books, to read and to write, to build fantasies from the ground up and be able to create an entire universe with only pen and paper (or computer and keyboard but whatever). And, seeing that that decision got her into Ms. Cabello's class, she would probably never regret that.

Except she did.

Everytime she saw Camila in the hallways, the parking lot, when she entered the class room and saw her with her blinding smile and warm eyes. It hurt. Seeing her ramble about whatever the topic of the class was with such passion and feeling her breath against the side of her neck when the older woman looked of her shoulder to check her progress on the assignment she'd given the class that day, without being able to show her the affection she wanted, made her heart crack at the edges.

Dinah and Normani, her best friends since middle school, kept trying to convince Lauren to just try talking to her but she turned into a blushing, stuttering mess whenever Camila was in sight and she was actually surprised the teacher wasn't treating her like a crazy person. Lauren usually wasn't this shy. She wasn't the most extroverted person, sure, but it had never gone to the point of her not being able to form a coherent sentence. Only Camila did that to her.

It had been four years full of longing stares and hearts scribbled around the paper she was supposed to turn in later that day just to be frantically erased by a panicked Lauren. Four years of having to endure lessons with Camila, her smile, her little happy dances when she announced how well the students did this semester, her laugh, god her laugh and all the other little (infuriatingly perfect) things she did in the most casual way. Lauren had no idea drinking water from a plastic bottle could be this hot.

But that was over now. Her graduation had just ended - luckily without her falling off the stage (even though her knees had gone weak every time she saw Camila smiling up at her from her seat in the crowd) - and just before she could slip out the room, clutching her diploma to her chest, Dinah (bless her soul), had slipped her the piece of paper with a sly "thank me later". Lauren had no idea how she even managed to get her hands on these sacred digits but here she was, sitting in a bathroom stall filled with graffiti, on the toilet seat, staring at Camila Cabello's number.

Lauren was scared shitless. She'd never felt so nervous in all the twenty two years of her life. She thought graduation would be the most terrifying thing to ever happen to her but the truth was that nothing was scarier than texting her crush. Her crush on the most beautiful, most amazing 26-year-old teacher. Oh god.

With shaky hands she tapped on the contacts icon on her phonescreen and began to type the number into the space below the name 'Literature Goddess' (she knows it's cheesy), not that she hasn't memorized every digit by now.

Lauren exhaled loudly. Step 1. Complete. Now she just had to text her. She opened the messanger app and stared at the blank space of the text field. Exhaling again she tried to get her heart beat under control (along with her fear) and started to type.