Four

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“Hi Jake.” I didn’t know what to do. I was frozen in my place, embarrassed for nearly getting kicked out of what I thought was my brother’s apartment building.

“He’s with me.” He said quietly. I knew those words were directed to Mr. Santa Doorman but it made my heart flutter for a reason or another. I rubbed a hand over my chest. I didn’t know why I was being like this. I never felt this way for him and now feelings, unknown and unwelcome ones, are starting to bubble up every time I see him.

“Of course, sir. My apologies.” The doorman released his hold of me. Although he wasn’t the slightest bit rough when handling me, I still couldn’t resist rubbing my arms where his had been. This slight movement caught Jake’s eye and caused a slight reaction from him. A reaction that I had never seen before. His mood visibly darkened and his attitude snarky.

“You should be careful towards treating guests, Kennedy. Even unknown ones,” he rumbled threateningly, walking towards me, “you never know how important they can be.” He added with a final nod at Mr. Santa Doorman, whom I know now as Kennedy, and took my hand in his as he dragged me towards the private lift.

“Are you alright?” He questioned without looking at me, only staring at the changing numbers on the upper right corner of the elevator.

I wanted to question him. Ask him why he reacted that way to Kennedy when he would normally be very calm about everything. Did he care about me more than I thought he did? Did he feel protective of me? Was I infecting him with my gayness although that’s completely impossible to do? What was it??

Instead I said:

“I’m fine.” My voice came out two octaves higher than normal. I cleared my throat and tried again. “I’m fine.” Better.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, a bit gentler this time still without looking at me.

“I was drunk. I thought I gave the cab driver my brother’s address.” I mumbled and looked down. I felt his chuckle before I heard it. It was so deep and smooth like chocolate that I couldn’t help but savor the moment. Hmm, like chocolate… so yummy. Argh stop it.

“Forgetting, psh, that sounds so much like you,” he said still chuckling, “although being drunk, not so much.” Jake let out disapprovingly.

The lift came to a stop at the second to the top floor. So high up. I have such a severe fear of heights that I would be freaking out right now if this wasn’t an enclosed space. We took a step forward together and realized that he was till grasping my hand. I pulled my hand from his abruptly and awkwardly laughed at my predicament.

“So,” I coughed out, “this is a nice place you got here.” I stepped out of his elevator and took in his apartment in awe. The huge floor to ceiling glass window though made my fight or flight response go on overdrive.

He stepped out of the elevator after me and with a subtle smile on his lips. “Perks of the job.”

“Perks my ass,” I scoffed, “ you own the company so you give yourself the perks. You were always an extravagant guy.”

I walked around his space running my hands along the furniture and art displays. It looked so modern but lived in at the same time. Cozy and sleek. An ugly envious worm climbed up my gut. I won’t lie, I was completely jealous. Not of his success but of the future woman who would join him in matrimony in the near future and spend the rest of her life with him.

Awkward silence cloaked us as I took everything in. One, two, three… ten, eleven… fifty-four-

“So,” Jake clapped once finally breaking the silence, “do you want something to drink?”

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