(Show Me) The Things That I Shouldn't Know

trois.

"How weird is it that your parents have known you for your entire life, but you haven't known them for their entire lives?"

It was a typical Tuesday morning at work. I was sat in front of my desk, checking my emails and reading the news. I had a piping hot mug of tea to the left of me, accompanied by a heaping pile of paperwork.

It was 8.34am, meaning I'd been at work for approximately 42 minutes and Sarah had already driven me up the wall countless times. 

"Yeaaahhhhh. It's really peculiar Sarah,"

Sarah was a lovely girl with a kind heart and good intentions, but she did love the sound of her own voice. For some odd reason, she had taken to talking to me every morning for at least one hour - and singularly me. No one else. I often ignored her, but that never stopped her.

"Have you heard about the new coffee shop opening up in the town?" Bits of the biscuit that she had been eating flew out from her mouth and landed on my desk. "Woops, sorry. Hehe," she proceeded to scoff another biscuit down her gob, before asking me another question which I didn't hear because I had shut her voice out.

Eventually, I heard someone call Sarah's name and she stood up, finally leaving me alone. I silently thanked the Lord. I started to work my way through the pile of work on my desk, but I hadn't got very far before my phone started to ring. I hesitated at first to pick it up, but after pondering it for a good few seconds, I answered.

"Hey babe,"

I smiled as I recognised the voice on the other end of the phone: Damien.

"Hello my love," I responded, giddiness in my voice even evident to myself. "I've missed you,"

"I've missed you too..."

"When will you be back home?"

"Later today, actually...listen, I've gotta go now Cam, I just wanted to check on you. I love you,"

"O-oh, okay. I love you too! See you...later?, I guess," I hung up.

Damien, my boyfriend, was a journalist, so he travelled a lot. At the time, he was in America (and had already been for two weeks). He loved it -  travelling, meeting new people, discovering new things - all in all, he loved being an international correspondent. But I hated it. Not only for selfish reasons, but others too. Of course I missed cuddling with him and talking to him, but I also worried a lot about his mental wellbeing. 

When I met Damien, he was in the army and told me that he had been for two years already. 9 months later, he was deployed somewhere (he never told me where, and for some reason refused to) and he came back 3 months later with not a single scratch but a completely ruined mind. It was, unsurprisingly, an awful period in his life and it broke my heart to watch him suffer everyday and for so long it seemed like there was no way out.

 That's when he decided he no longer wanted to fight, but rather deepen people's knowledge of what's actually going on around the world - so, he became a journalist. But, despite seeming and speaking as if he was recovered, Damien never truly was himself again. Despite being my boyfriend, and more specifically my boyfriend of many years, he never told me much. But that was just him - he was a closed book, open to no one (and by no one, I mean NO ONE). In fact, I was probably the person that he was most open to.

My thoughts were disrupted by another pile of work being thrown down onto my desk, making my pen jump off the table and crash on the floor with a quiet thud. I bent down to get it and upon raising my head, I noticed Kacey, my boss, standing in front of me, with her feet firmly planted on the floor.

"Get a move on with your work, please," she smiled the bitchiest smile ever and walked back to her office. I flipped her off behind her back.