See My Tears.

Ch 16: Good Luck Charm.

Life went on and we pretty much had a routine. Diner on Saturday and Sunday, Stripes on Sunday, Tuesday, and Friday nights. I didn't like it, but I did it. Our unofficial four month was coming up, but I had a lot of homework and hadn't been spending much time with Kels.

I thought he wanted to just hang out with me when he knocked on my window at midnight on Thursday, but I was wrong. "Put your sweatpants on." He told me.

"What, why?"

"We're going to Stripes."

"No," I said sternly. "I'm not."

"Holly, you're my good luck charm, come on," He begged. I shook my head and grabbed my hand, "Babe, please."

It took him another five minutes of groveling, but I gave in. I climbed out the window and we headed to the bus stop, but I was grouchy as we walked to the alley. "I don't like it here."

"I know you don't," He said. He stopped walking, grabbing my hand and kissing my palm. "But I need you here, okay?"

"Kels.."

"I'm never gonna get anywhere in a diner," He explained. "You know how Eminem got popular? Rap battles."

I rolled my eyes and sighed, but nodded, "Okay, come on."

I hated the awful things said during rap battles. It was all so hateful. Everyone was cheering for Kels by his second battles, so I was proud of him, but I couldn't say I was all that happy.

During the last round, someone came up behind me and grabbed my ass. I turned around and swing, clocking them in the jaw. It hurt my hand, but I didn't let it show as I cursed at them and fast-walked out of the alley. I went to the corner store and got a Monster, sitting outside and waiting for Kels. He had to pass it to get to the bus stop anyway.

It seemed to take forever until he came walking down the sidewalk. I stood up and made my way over to him, but I didn't get a chance to tell him what happened. He snapped at me, "What are you doing here? Where were you? I won all five rounds and you weren't even there to see it."

"No, I was too busy trying to get groped," I countered, "I guess sweatpants aren't really working."

"Why didn't you just come to me? I could have defended you," He said, walking on, obviously pissed at me for no reason.

"Oh, that wasn't a problem," I said, shoving my throbbing hand into the pocket of my hoodie. "The problem was that I didn't want to go in the first place."

"Oh, god forbid you support me," He rolled his eyes as we got back on the bus.

"All I do is support you!" I was trying not to start screaming at him on the bus. He just looked at the window, "Kels, look at me. I'm not going back there." He just kept looking out the window. "Kels."

"Fine," He said, glancing at me and then back out the window.

I rolled my eyes and sat back in my seat, just wanting to go home.

When we finally got back, I walked up to my house without saying a word to Kels. I slipped inside quietly and went to my room. Going to shut the blinds, I found Kels looking at me  from his window. I gave him a bitch face and he made a hand-heart, smiling slightly. I rolled my eyes and pulled the shades down. It was gonna take more than that.

.

The next morning, I got up way earlier than necessary. I could never really sleep when I was upset. I got ready and sat on the steps, waving my dad off for work. Kels walked out from his house way earlier than usual, holding a plate. He sat beside me on the steps and set the plate in my lap.

It was a blueberry heart pancake with I'm sorry written in whip cream. "I was being an asshole," He sighed. "I'm sorry."

"I can't believe you're using my weakness of breakfast food against me," I said, trying not to smile as I forked some in my mouth. "Ah, I love your aunt's cooking."

"She loves you." He nodded.

"Yeah?" I nodded, taking a bite bigger than I should have.

"I do, too," Kels nodded. "I love you, Holland." I choked. I actually choked on my breakfast, coughing until I spit it into the grass. He gasped, "Are you okay?"

"Fine, I just, you just," I stuttered out. "I don't think I'm ready to--"

"You don't have to say it, back I just needed you to know," He said.

When we got to school, I was just trying to make it through the day. after what Kels had told me, the way my hand felt, and the fact that I knew he'd still go to Stripes without me, I was ready to go back to bed. I spent most of first period unwrapping and rewrapping my bruised knuckles.

Then there was Astrid. She wouldn't stop. "Kels looks good today. Are you guys still together? He looked kinda sad. He was looking at you when you weren't looking at him. I heard he rap battles now. Is he any good? What happened to your hand?"

I spun around in my chair, barking, "I punched someone in the face."

Everyone was looking at me. My teacher asked me if I needed to sit outside and I said yes. I wasn't in the mood. Actually, I wasn't in the mood for anything. Everything made me want to cry. I sat outside the building by the elevator and called Eric, who rushed to my side.

I told him all about the night before and he just sat there and listened, adding in his occasional "he needs to cut his shit" and "what a bitch". It was just nice to have someone listen to me. When I finally stopped crying, it was time for third period and we parted ways.

I sat with Kels at lunch and tried to pretend nothing was bothering me. He was too busy talking about how he was gonna kick major ass the next night at stripes. "I understand you don't want to go," He said, touching my arm. "I'll come over after, I promise."

Friday Night

I had picked out all of our favorite movies, candies, and put all my softest blankets on the couch. My dad was home, so he agreed to let him stay over as long as we stayed in the living room. I wasn't really in the mood to do much else, anyway.

It was after two and he still wasn't there. Had he forgotten? My dad had fallen asleep, so I walked over next door. I felt horrible that I had woke up when his aunt opened the door. "I'm sorry, it's just that Kels never came over. Is he here?"

"No, honey. I thought he was at your house," She asked, confused.

"Oh no," I felt my stomach drop.

Just then, the phone rang. "Maybe that's him," She said hopefully, inviting me in as she picked it up. "Hello? Yes, this is she. Oh, what? Oh my. Yes, of course, okay."

"What?"

"Kels is in the hospital."

We took his aunt's car, which rarely left the carport. I'd never been in the car with her, but I assumed she didn't usually drive as fast as she was driving at that moment.

When we got to the hospital, we demanded to see him. They said family only, so I said I was his sister. I could tell the receptionist knew I was lying, but she let me in anyway.

He was laying in a hospital bed, horribly beaten up. A gash through his eyebrow, a fat lip, a black eye. His arm was wrapped from his shoulder to his wrist, and there was a cast on his left foot. I burst into tears at the sight of it, wishing he was awake. His aunt collapsed into the chair beside his bed.