broken soldier // pre-serum!steve x bucky

two

i woke up abruptly, in a room unfamiliar to me, and felt the air leave my lungs again.

"you're awake!" a voice came booming from behind me, making me jump.

"god, i am so sorry about james! i don't think i can even begin to explain what happened but-"

i looked around the room frantically for my bag, and loki continued to apologise.

"loki." i managed to wheeze, which stopped him and he turned to me. "where's my bag?"

he joined me in a frenzy to find the bag to no avail; i must've left it behind.

"I'll go back and get it, you just stay here." loki stuttered as he left the apartment.

the door slammed shut, and i was alone in a strangers apartment. i felt my throat tighten as i stumbled down the hall in search of a bathroom. i fell into the first room i found, which was a kitchen.
my breathing became more short and panicked as i continued down the hall, praying the next room would be a bathroom. i turned the knob and staggered inside, slamming straight into a wall.

why is there a wall so close to the door?

landing on my butt only knocked what little air was in my lungs out of my mouth in the form of a gasp as i looked up at what i'd walked into, and suddenly the wall was offering me a hand. i blinked and accepted the hand, the cold metal telling me it was james.

neither of us spoke, i could feel my face going red at the situation i'd put myself in, my legs trembled as i fought to keep myself upright and conscious, and my eyes drifted away from james' piercing gaze.

"here." i heard him almost whisper, as he shoved a inhaler into my chest. i nodded at him gratefully and inhaled the lost oxygen.

"thank you." i gasped, still trying to regain my vision, and returned to my spot on the floor.

he observed me from his stiff position against the wall, rooted to the floor, and stood to attention almost, his jaw tensing whenever a vehicle was heard.

"you okay?" i finally managed to wheeze, startling james slightly.

"what do you mean?" he asked inquisitively, his brow furrowing as if he didn't know how to answer.

"uh, i mean, um, how are you feeling? you just look a bit tense." i stumbled, unsure how to explain such a simple question.

"oh. well, i suppose i am. the doctor says its ptsd, from iraq."

"you were a soldier?"

"sergeant james buchanan barnes, first amoured division. served for eight years."
i could almost hear him salute.

"what was it like?"

"it was... well, i don't really know how to describe it. i saw a lot, probably too much, violence that nobody should ever have to see."

i nodded in agreement, not really knowing what else to say. he seemed uncomfortable about his past so i didn't want to push him any further.

"sorry about earlier. i, uh, don't really have an excuse, but i just wanted to apologise."

"its alright, im not really hurt all that much anyway."

he offered me a shy smile which i returned, and we stayed in comfortable silence, just watching each other until loki burst in.

"guys, what are you doing in the bathroom?"

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