The Blue Bird

Chapter Nine

I woke up the next morning to the sound of my prison door being slammed shut.

"What's happening?" I exclaimed before I was fully awake.

When I realized that I was undoubtably alone, I rushed to the window and started humming our song. It took me a few repetitions to realize that he wasn't coming, and once I did, panic quickly clamped around my chest.

I moved back to my bed and tried to focus on steadying my breathing, but the pressure in my chest kept growing, and the air around me seemed to grow dense and hard to inhale.

It was like everything I had been pretending to be okay with had suddenly become physical weights; like rocks piled up on my torso.

I couldn't imagine that anything but death would have kept Hector from flying to me as soon as he was able. If Hector was dead, it was not okay. I was not okay.

Sibeta had stolen my life, piece by piece. And my father - my last blood-relative on earth - had just let it happen.

I had been locked away in this horrible, desolate prison for over a year, Yet I had committed no crime!

Most of all though, I missed my mother. I had never really, properly, grieved after losing her. My father had done enough of that for both of us, and I had felt the need to smile, comfort others, and say all the cliche nonsense I had been taught to say in such situations. But now, in this room, with nothing else to distract me, I could not hide from the pain. I could not pretend like everything was alright.

I tried to reach for my harp, but my body was locked in a fight with the most intense distress I had ever felt.

I couldn't move; I could barely breathe.

At some point during this episode, somebody walked into my cell and screamed something along the lines of:

"Help! She's gone mad with grief and envy!"

I wish I had been clever enough to come up with some witty retort, but I could barely utter the words:

"No, I'm alright."

It was a silly response, perhaps even confirming that I had in fact lost it, but it was so ingrained in me that I had to appear composed and dignified at all times that I felt the need to keep up appearances even now, despite the betrayal of my body.

My understanding of reality went a little fuzzy after that, the next thing I remember seeing was my father's anxious face.

"Is there anything you can do for her?" He was asking.

"I'm afraid not, your majesty." A man I presume was the physician was saying. "I regret that there is still much to learn about ailments of the mind."

"She always did have a weak constitution." Dina was shaking her head. "I guess there's nothing for it but to keep her locked away from prying eyes for the rest of her life."

"I will not keep her locked away any longer." My father said with a harsh voice. "I was a fool to let you talk me into it in the first place."

"Surely, my love," Dina put her hands on his shoulders and crouched to meet him at eye level, "you must understand that the people cannot see her in this state. If they knew that your blood-line was tainted with such weakness of the mind, your reputation - and the reputation of all those who came before, and will come after you - would be ruined."

"But..." My father's eyes had gone blank, his voice weak. "But I love my daughter."

"I know you do." Dina soothed. "And I love you for that, but we need to think of the security of the kingdom, and the future of our unborn child."

"You...you are with child?" My father looked confused.

"Yes, my love. And I am sure it will be a boy." She smiled. "A strong, healthy son to carry your name and succeed you when you are ready to abdicate."

"A son." My father's once warm voice sounded hollow. "How wonderful. A son to rule when I am done."

Dina looked at two servants waiting by the door and said, "I think his majesty is ready for his afternoon nap, please escort him to his chamber."

As he rose from the chair by my bedside, I was able to see the heavy lines that had grown on his face since last I'd seen him, and his cheekbones and jawline seemed more defined. His tunic hung off his torso more loosely than usual, and there was no mistaking the protruding bones on the wrists that just peaked out of his silken sleeves. He had clearly lost a lot of weight.

"I love you, father." I choked out, as he was led away.

He turned his sad, sunken eyes back towards me. "I love you too, dearest daughter."

Dina was the last to leave.

"You monster!" I spat, though it sounded far less intimidating than intended, with my croaky voice. "You're killing him!"

She said nothing in response, merely kept her hateful eyes fixed on mine, and gave me a sly smile as she closed the door behind her.