Something to Talk About

Chapter 5 - The Apology

"Hey, Dusty, I brought you some chicken."

Alex sets the plate of chicken beside Dusty's plastic doggy dish, and then lowers himself to the ground. He sits cross legged in front of his dog, despite the fact that there's a layer of snow coating the ground. Alex can always change into dry pants later.

"No steak tonight, bud," Alex says, apologetically, when Dusty looks up at him with sad puppy dog eyes. "S'not really that good for you, you know that."

He glances up at the darkening sky, as he waits for Dusty to finish his chicken. Alex likes it better in the summer, when it doesn't get dark as fast, and he can sit outside longer and enjoy some fresh air with his dog.

Through the gaps in the picket fence, Alex can see the farmer standing outside of Pierre's store, having an animated discussion with Abigail. She produces a large, purple rock from her backpack, and Abigail accepts it with a look of delight. The farmer always seems to have a gift on hand for her favourite villagers; Alex's not sure how she even manages to fit any of her tools in her bag. He's pretty sure the farmer doesn't think too highly of him, though; she rarely stops by Alex's house with anything for him.

He probably shouldn't have told her that he didn't play catch with girls. Or ask her if she owned a bikini. And it definitely didn't help that Haley had made fun of the farmer's grass-stained clothes that time she stopped by the ice cream stand to buy a cone from him.

Alex keeps his head ducked, hoping they won't look in his direction. He can't make out what they're saying, but he can hear them giggling about something.

They're probably laughing at him.

Maybe Abigail's telling the farmer about the posters in his locker – about how it had looked like a 'gay porn site had exploded', according to Sam and Sebastian – and Alex's stomach twists at the thought.

He hears the comments his grandfather mutters whenever there's a gay man on the news, or in a show, or a commercial. Alex's grandmother always scolds her husband whenever that happens, but Alex doesn't know for sure what his grandmother really thinks of gay people herself. She's older, things were different back then – gay people weren't even allowed to get married.

Alex is glad, at least, that it's not illegal to be gay anymore. Still, that didn't exactly mean that everybody was all fine and cool with it. The guys on his gridball team had made fun of each other in the showers, accusing other guys of checking them out. They'd made fun of Alex, too, until he'd started doing the same. He feels a wave of regret wash over him as he remembers that he'd done that, just the other day, to Sam and Sebastian in the men's change room.

Dealing with his teammates had been easy; they didn't live in town, Alex never had to worry about gossip and rumours making their way out of the locker room and back to his grandparents. But using those same tactics on Sam and Sebastian?

That had been a mistake.

Alex leans forward, propping his chin up with both hands. Abigail had promised she wasn't going to tell, as long as Alex kept his mouth shut, too... but how long could that last? Girls weren't very good at keeping secrets. At least, Haley wasn't.

"What am I supposed to do, Dusty?" Alex whispers. Dusty rests his head on one paw, looking up at Alex with slow, blinking eyes.

He couldn't tell his grandparents the truth. He definitely couldn't tell Haley, either. Dusty couldn't talk back, and the one person Alex felt he could talk about this sort of thing with...