Diary of a dead girl

Part 01

Angela's P.O.V

The water drips down my body like rain would run down the window. I hate this position. I hate my life. I hate everything and everyone. People thinks I'm okay. I'm not. I'm in pain. I'm in deep pain. I can end it. I can take care of my own pain and end all so that no harm can come my way.
My name is Angela. I'm eighteen and still in school. Luckily it's my last year but I fear that I can't hold out for so long. Why? Why always me? I can barely look at myself and appreciate what I see.

I climbed out of the shower wrapping a towel around my naked dirty body. My skin is damaged like I am. I tried to scrub all the gyms off from my body but nothing helps.
I hate my preview in the mirror. Well, main story is that my parents broke up when I was ten years old. I handled it quite right but I'm not so sure about my little sister, Melissa. She's a sweet girl, five years younger than I am. I don't like to disappoint her but lately I just couldn't care less. I want what's best for her but I don't want her to have a broken sister.
The circles under my eyes are heavy and dark black. I can't help thinking about the party I attended a week ago. Something happened there. Someone killed Angela Cotze.

I feel ashamed of myself. I feel ashamed to be seen by people. I feel scared, alone and depressed.

"Honey." Mom knocked on the door. I didn't even gave a fright.
"Yeah?" I answered with a boring tone in my voice.
"How long will you take?" Mom asked. I love my mom and dad more than anything else in this world. I don't blame them for what have happened, but I would've preferred them to tell me to stay home.
"Just a while." I replied starring at myself in the mirror like a ghost. The colourful girl I once was is dead. I'm dead.
"Alright. Hurry up okay. Your dad wants to see you." Mom said and walked off. I look down sadly taking the make up to cover the darkness on my face.

3rd Person's P.O.V

"Angela will be down in a second." Amanda said to David that stood at the doorway. He nod his head looking at Melissa that came running down to him.
"Dad!" She gave him a hug and a kiss. Amanda gave her a little smile looking down to the floor. "I heard you got promoted."
"What?" Amanda asked horrified looking at David in shock.
"Yeah. I saw it on television." Melissa replied to Amanda looking back at David.
"Congratulations." Amanda said to him giving him a friendly smile. "We should celebrate that."
"Thank you." David thanked with a chuckle looking at Angela that came walking down. She looks so great covered up. It's like she's the same old Angi they use to know.
"Hey pumpkin." He greeted her with a kiss on the cheek and a hug. He give her an odd look then look back at Amanda that gave him a worried look.
He immediately snapped out of his stare then look at Angela that kept her head low.
"So, I have some news for you. I got promoted at work and I had decided to move into another house." David smiled at them like a proud business man. "I want you two to choose."
"Let Melissa choose." Angela said giving Melissa a fake smile. "She's good at taste."
"Yeah but we can..." Melissa look down then back at her sister with her mouth unable to speak the words she needs to say. "We can choose together."
"No, I don't want to choose." Angela said giving her sister a hug. She lean down to her ear whispering, "Please don't make a scene. Choose for me."
She pull away and giving her sister a serious look.
"Alright." Melissa nodded her head with a smile looking at her father. "Shall we tomorrow?"
"Right after school." David nodded his head saying both the children good night.

David's P.O.V

I look at Amanda that looked at me at the same time. Her long hair is pleaded and her blue eyes is shining behind her glasses. I always admired her beauty. Sometimes I still find myself doing that.
"Angela lost weight." I mentioned. I have to choose my words carefully. I don't want her to think I'm blaming her.
"I know. I'm worried about her David. She barely eats." Amanda agreed looking down then back at me. "There's something bothering her."
"Have you talked to her about it then?" I asked raising an eyebrow with a soft look on my face. Like those I use to give her.
"No. She says there's nothing bothering her but let's rather say she refuses to talk about it." She replied giving me a little glare. "You don't think she's being bullied at school, are you?"
"I hope not." I replied looking down then back at her that leaned against the door frame looking away from me.
"I'll talk to her again. Hopefully she'll open up." Amanda looked at me with a sad lok on her face. Should I comfort her? I want to. No, we agreed to this.

Angela's P.O.V

I'm worried. I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I haven't done my homework and there's many reasons I don't want to walk along those passages facing all the hungry beasts. Ending my day with a peaceful sleep was my plan but mom had come to talk with me again. She noticed I'm different. I want to tell her but I can't. I don't want her to be sad for me.
"Tell me what's wrong." Mom said nicely sitting next to me on the bed. I look down at me lap. I feel like crying but at the same time I want to run away. "Please. I'm worried about you Angi. I'm afraid that you'll keep secrets and problems in jar and when it breaks, it'll be too late for me to help you."
"Mom..." I look down swallowing a lump in my throat. Maybe it's okay for me to tell her. Maybe she'll help me. I burst out crying dropping my head on her lap grabbing her around her slim waist. "I'm so scared."
"What are you scared of honey?" Mom asked stroking my hair. I want to tell her. I need to tell her.
"I'm afraid of everything and everyone. I hate them. I hate myself." I cried my heart out. I'm not going to telm her. I don't need to and she's gonna have to respect that.
"But Angi, you're a beauty. Look at me." She lift up my face and dry up my tears. "There's no reason to be afraid sweetheart. Yes, people hurt, they scare. But you have nothing to be worried about. If you're going through hell, keep on walking okay. Oneday when you look back, you'll be able to stand as this strong woman that can survive anything because you survived this."
I look down at her lap. I can't look in her eyes. I can't face my own mother.
"You want to know something?" She asked getting my attention back. A little smile came upon her lips as she touch my cheek softly. "When I was your age, I met your father. He was such a handsome guy and he still is. He was that type of man that every woman wants. So, it was a cold December night. I walked away from where I stayed. My parents had just passed away around that time. So I walked down the empty streets all by myself. I remember leaning over the bridge gazing into the night watching the moon's reflection on the river. It was beautiful. So, your dad just walked passed me because we haven't met before. I remember in the corner of my eye, he stopped and turn around looking at me. I didn't wear glasses around that time because I left it back home. He just starred at me for about five minutes before he spoke. He asked me if he's dead. I couldn't resist him so I told him no. Can you guess what he said afterwards?"
I gave her a smile. Her eyes are sparkling behind her glasses. I've actually never seen her without them with her hair loose. She only took them off and made her hair loose when she was alone in her room and in the morning she was awoke before us.
"You look prettier than an angel." Mom smiled and look down at her lap then back at me giving a big smile.
"Why did you two broke up?' I had to ask. All my life I was walking around with this question and now I finally got the chance to ask her.
"Your dad came home drunk one night and told me that he needed a break. Things didn't work out anymore so we got divorced." She replied looking down sadly then back at me. She pull me into her embrace holdig me tight.

Mom, I need to tell you something...
I want to tell you...
I can't.