hands ⟶ namjin

siebenunddreissig

pacing, yet again, namjoon rubbed his tear-stained face. the hood of his black sweatshirt was up in attempt to make sure he wouldn't get recognised in public. it seemed to happen a lot after his concert where he revealed his face, but it was obvious that was to happen. along with his over-sized sweatshirt he was wearing some regular black track pants and black shoes of the same brand. he was boiling, but he didn't seem to care about the heat too much with his mind set on other things.

 it was early morning and he was walking to starbucks. usually he wouldn't be up this early but he wanted to get there before jin's shift started, and be there when jin arrived. he wanted to make amends, even though he was almost certain jin wouldn't forgive him, but it was definitely worth a try for jin.

namjoon knew he had messed up, and he knew he had messed up bad. 

he pushed the glass door to the shop open and pulled his hood down. his nostrils filled with the scent of coffee beans and chocolate as he sluggishly stepped over to the stools at the counter, and sat there. he kept looking down at his watch every couple of seconds, hoping that minutes had already gone by and that jin would arrive as if by magic... but jin wasn't magic, and namjoon had to wait.

of course he felt that it was no burden to wait, as all he wanted was to jin to accept his apology, even though it seemed incredibly unlikely that the older would do so.

namjoon heard the door open and spun around on his seat, and as expected jin walked through the door, his head down with his hair covering his face. hoseok stumbled in behind him, his expression like stone as he eyed around the room. it was as if he knew that namjoon was coming, and he was trying to protect jin.

without looking at namjoon the two made their way behind the counter and slipped their green aprons on, helping each other to tie the string at the back. jin sighed and eventually looked up and out the window. namjoon was startled by how red and puffy jin's eyes looked, along with the dark circles indicating his lack of sleep. 

finally, jin's eyes found themselves wandering back to the counter, stopping on the broken-looking boy who sat in front. jin inhaled sharply before letting out a shaky breath and opening his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

hoseok noticed the sudden gasp from his best friend and edged over to where he was standing, setting his glare on namjoon, who almost broke down just seeing jin like that, but it hurt him even more as he remembered that it was his fault that jin was this pained.

"jin.. I,.. I know you don't want to see me right now," namjoon started, but his voice was hoarse ⎯⎯ he didn't even sound like himself, "but-.. look, I really want to apologise.. I know that sorry means nothing, and I said it before.. I don't want to do this here, you're working, so can I come and talk to you later..?"

jin shut his eyes for a second, thinking over his answer. he wasn't sure whether he wanted namjoon to stop by later. he was so whipped but namjoon hurt him. however jin was a firm believer in second chances if there is a good reason for the wrong-doing, so jin was willing to listen to whatever it was namjoon had to say, even if it hurt him more than he already was hurt.

"..y-yes, you can talk to me later.." jin murmured after re-opening his eyes. he wanted to know if namjoon was worth his time.

at that, hoseok sighed, pulling jin aside from namjoon.

"are you sure you want to talk to him? what if he hurts you even more..?" hobi asked, his face full of concern. jin nodded, confirming that he really did want to hear what namjoon had to say. hoseok nodded and let jin go back to namjoon, who had stood up.

"ill be at your house for 6pm.. and I promise it'll be worth your time jin.."

jin looked up at namjoon and took the moment to take in how broken namjoon looked too. he had the same puffy eyes and dark circles; the same tear stained cheeks and messy hair; the same croaky voice and stuttered words. if namjoon was this hurt by it, which he deserved to be and he knew it, then his apology must be important.

namjoon began to walk away but stopped and spun around which confused jin. what else could he have to say?

"jin.."

jin tilted his head slightly.

"I love you."

and then he left.