hands ⟶ namjin

neunundfünfzig

tw; alcohol

namjoon decided that with his free time he had while jin was with his friend he would write some lyrics, so he sat in his studio for a few hours before it began to get dark. he picked up his hoodie and slid it on, leaving the studio and walking outside. he enjoyed walking home. it was a way for him to clear his mind of any stress, a way for him to see the world instead of staying cooped up in a studio or his house all day. and he especially enjoyed walking at night, as there was no fans in the streets that would notice him. of course he loved talking to fans, but sometimes he just wanted some alone time, which was pretty hard for him now.

as he walked past an apartment building on his way home he noticed two people, one of them looking awfully a lot like his boyfriend, so namjoon got a little bit closer to see if he was right ⎯⎯ which it appeared that was. the other must've been taehyung.

he saw the two boys having a conversation, but he got a little closer again and managed to hear them talking.

"tae, im fine. just, go inside." he heard jin say, with a smile. what was he fine from? did something happen?

"okay.. jin... just one more thing-" the younger boy spoke, and then he moved closer to jin.

"hm?"

taehyung leaned in and kissed jin, and from where namjoon was standing it definitely looked like jin kissed him back.

namjoon didn't know what to do other than walk away, so that's what he did.

there was so much going on his head that he began to feel overwhelmed. was jin cheating on him or not? did jin love this taehyung kid? did jin even love namjoon?

namjoon got home and just sat on his cold kitchen floor, his mind flooding with deep thoughts and the same picture of jin kissing taehyung.

but then he figured he needed to stop doing that so he opened the top cupboard and picked up a large bottle, taking off the cap and drinking from it. he just needed to clear his mind, he wasn't going to get drunk, he was just going to try and forget what he just saw for a while. he felt extremely sick seeing jin with another guy. maybe jin wanted to get back at namjoon for hurting him, but namjoon didn't want to think like that.

suddenly the boy's phone rang, so he put the drink down on the floor next to him and answered the call

"hey namjoon," he heard his love speaking, "im gonna stay at taehyung's for the night because I hit my head and im a little bit dizzy so im not really fit to drive, and I know you're probably tired so you shouldn't have to go out of your way to come and pick me up so don't even say it."

"namjoonie? are you there?"

"mhm..."

"is everything okay?" jin questioned.

"mhm.. just tired.." he croaked, lying back onto the cold marble floor.

"okay. I'll see you tomorrow." jin said, ending the call without saying anything else. namjoon sat up and picked up the bottle again, taking a big swig. maybe he should just get drunk and not have to think about jin for some time.

suddenly a knock at the door startled him, he stood up and placed the glass bottle on the counter, pushing it back so it wouldn't fall off and shatter. then he rubbed his eyes before making his way to his front door, opening it slowly, and praying that it wasn't jin.

"what the hell happened to you?" it was yoongi. "and what have you been drinking?"

namjoon shrugged, leaving the door open for yoongi to let himself in and returning back to his spot on the kitchen floor with his drink in hand.

"okay, tell me what happened and put that bottle down before you get drunk." he said, staring at his best friend coldly. namjoon gave in and put the bottle down, sitting with his back against the wall.

"I saw jin kissing another guy." he mumbled, rubbing the back of his head, "and its the same guy he's been ditching me to hang out with for weeks, and now he's staying the night with this kid."

"so you think he's cheating on you?" yoongi asked, and namjoon nodded dully, not noticing the tears running down his face. very much to namjoon's surprise, yoongi pulled his younger friend into a hug which was returned without hesitation. they rarely had moments like these due to yoongi's reputation that he 'had to keep', so namjoon was glad when things like this did happen, even though he was most likely the one who was hurt in these situations.

later (after the alcohol had kicked in) yoongi and namjoon were sat next to each other, now on the sofa in the living room, laughing. yoongi was doing his best to push jin from namjoon's mind for a while so he wouldn't spend the whole night crying over it. being the terrible person he was, yoongi had agreed to join namjoon in drinking, so that it could just be two friends having a laugh, instead of one friend drinking to forget something and the other comforting his cries. yoongi wasn't one for being sympathetic, he was more the kind of person that would cheer someone up by doing something stupid. it was never the best idea but it worked ⎯⎯ most of the time, at least.

eventually the two of them fell asleep leaning against each other, with guns 'n' roses playing through the speakers in the room, reeking of whatever they had been drinking all night, not worrying about whatever was going to happen the next morning when jin came home.

namjoon certainly thought jin was cheating on him, even though he didn't want to think that. he wanted to trust the man he loved, but it was hard to do that after seeing him locking lips with another guy. jin just seemed so happy every morning that namjoon was there when he got up to get ready to see taehyung. maybe jin had fallen out of love with namjoon.

but namjoon felt prepared to fight for jin's love, so he wasn't just going to sit and cry about it like he wanted to.