One Lifetime Is Never Enough

Longing

runexi's notes:

Urrrhhh, putting author's notes at the beginning instead of the usually at the bottom footnotes. Because: THIS IS SMUT . DO NOT read if you are not comfortable reading mature scene (though this is pretty tame imo).

If you don't wish to read mature scene, do NOT read this chapter. It won't deduct anything from the story, as this is just another character's POV interlude.

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As far as my eyes can see, the barren land beyond the eastern borders brings a sense of isolation. It must be tough to live in this part of the world.

No wonder the Zhang empire always becomes the target of hungry eyes. With lush landscapes, fertile lands, and our rich culture, we are no doubt a mouth-watering dish that others constantly covet.

It has been into the third year since we first arrived, trying to curb the insurgences that have lately also spread to the smaller villages between the Eastern Deserts and the Zhang Empire. This mission is actually taking longer than expected.

I was truly a frog in a pond. I used to always be concerned about my insecurities, about people's perception of me, about Father's perception of me.

At this part of the world, people have to fight just to eat. People plunder; people kill; people take whatever they can from others as they don't know any other means to live.

Days turned into weeks turned into months turned into years. After ensuring I could manage on my own, Father left a small garrison of Ji army soldiers where I set camp at for my disposal. He received a lead about one of the major ruling tribes - their people more ruthless than most - utilizing a local canyon as their hideout. I just have to stay put here to make sure the smaller tribes won't wreak havoc and cross borders to our Empire's territory.

Days have been pretty boring and I mostly spend my time practising the path of the sword.

Due to our close vicinity to the Eastern Desert and Zhang Empire's border, sometimes merchants who come to trade to the border villages would come to our camp. They are also our way of communicating with our families, delivering our letters back and fro. It would take months for the letters to come and go, but it is much better than having no contact at all with our loved ones.

I remember a few days ago, when I read Mother's letter, I was overjoyed.

"Li-er. Mother wants to adopt YuLan into our family. I think 'Ji YuLan' sounds pretty fitting for her, too. Don't you think? I would like to adopt her officially as my daughter."

I remember I penned my reply straight away that night, expressing my utmost support and joy for her intention. I adore YuLan, and I would be delighted if she can be a part of our family. What will be better than giving her the status of a General's daughter? I was truly happy for her. Bai-mei likes her too, and I'm sure Father will just grow fonder of her if given a chance. If she was to be my sister, I could always be by her side, protecting her as an older brother should be. I could be closer to her as well and be a irreplaceable part of her life. I should be more than content with that kind of arrangement.

Then that very night, I had a dream.

In that dream, I was not alone. There was someone I was enveloping in a loose embrace on the floor. My fingers were softly tracing a silky smooth bare pale skin of a young woman. I could only see her back, her long hair - tinted in brown - cascading on her back.