Fallen Angel ~ Bughead~

Shadowed

~Betty's POV~
As me and jug walked home hand in hand, I felt peaceful. Like everything might be okay and I might be able to get past this. If I could go back to Veronica's party and not accept the ride from Nick and then maybe things now would be different. As if on que my palm began to throb, it was then when I realised that I had absentmindedly formed a fist with my free hand, my nails digging deeply into the previously cut crescent moons. It took a couple of seconds for it to register in my brain before I unfurled my fist and left my cuts to heal. Unsurprisingly Jug didn't notice but after all I suppose if no one knows of it then they don't want to acknowledge it or believe it to be true. So I just pretended, like I do every single day, everything is okay I'm just 'tired'.

We reached my door and I pecked him on the lips and entered my house without a word on my part. The moment the door was closed my walls crumbled and I fell to my knees, tears raining down my pale, hollow cheeks. I was eating less disgusted by my own body and what it had been through. To everyone else I was still the literal embodiment of perfection, but really. Really, I was broken. Beyond repair. But again no one knew because they liked the idea of my perfection so much so that any hint of imperfection was ignored because they didn't want me to change or be broken. They wanted same old perfect girl next door, Elizabeth Cooper. I'm not her anymore. I want to be, it was when times were simpler. Now, when I look in the mirror I don't know the girl staring back at me, she seems familiar but too different to actually be me. The tears were still raining and the sobs at full volume. Yet nobody hears or even wants to hear. I'm trapped in a pit of despair with no ladder to climb, no rope to save me. Just a lonely pit, dark and scary for me to shrivel up and die in. I thought my Juggie would be my saviour and throw me the rope, but he just merely thinks he is. He somehow believes the facade I've put up event hough I don't, maybe that makes it believe able. Either way it doesn't change the stone cold fact that I'm not who I used to be, nor will I ever be again. That fact only made me cry harder. I held my hands to my chest wanting to rip my stupid heart from it but the skin and bone stopped me. I could feel it pounding and with each beat of my heart the pain grew worse and worse.

The peace I had felt with Jug earlier vanished in and instant and I was just sat by my door sobbing my heart out. With no one to rescue me. I don't know how long I was sat there before I passed out, all I know is that it was sunset when Jug had walked me home and when I woke it was pitch black outside.

I couldn't stop his words echoing in my head, I thought I could move past this but I really couldn't.
'Oh, come on Betts you know you want me.'
And once again I was sat on the floor emotion and motionless. I felt trapped in a constant loop. I dragged my heavy body from the floor and upstairs to take a shower. The hot water scolded my face but it was a pain I happily welcomed. At least I could feel something. As I stepped from the shower I peered at my reflection, why would anyone like me, I'm not even pretty, I rolled my shoulder and took one last glance at my now too thin body before I dressed in something so baggy it would hide all my imperfections. The letter box outside sounded yanking me from my hazed thoughts. The postman didn't come on Sundays. Yet again I sluggishly stood and forced my body to endure movement.

A single letter. That's all that was there. Handwritten and sealed. By my one true love. The handwriting recognisable. It was from Jughead.
Saying goodbye.

A/N here is  another chapter sorry it's a sad one, I'm doing a major time jump in the next one and this story might take a slightly shocking turn. Thanks for all the support on this story it really means a lot to me. I also have my gcse exam on re on Monday and Wednesday but I only have that one because I'm only in year 10, so wish me luck. Also the last episode had me shook like wth actually tho what the HELL. Like don't do this to us!!
Love you all
Megan xoxo