Tortured

Prologue

Perry

Six years earlier...

Every time she snaps her gum, cotton candy fills the air. I'm not sure why I'm staring at her lips right now. Well, she is talking. That could be a good excuse, right?

That won't work though. What I really need is a distraction. I shouldn't be sitting on the roof of my best friends' garage with his little sister smoking Newports past her curfew. But that's the thing about me I guess. I don't always make the best decisions.

Her brother Jeremy and I never really talked about it, but it was always pretty much a given that his sister Tess was off-limits to us. That includes our other friend, Walker. If I'm really being honest though, I kind of think they have a thing going on. No solid proof, but a strong suspicion. The three of us are more like brothers than friends, and Tess fits in right along with us. The perfect addition to our group and with very limited girl drama to bring with her. That's a win in my book. I even insist on calling her by her last name. I think it's because it solidifies the fact that she's basically a dude to me. But tonight, she doesn't look like a dude.

Not. At. All.

She hands the cigarette back to me and I take a long drag. Her curious pale, blue eyes watch me the entire time, but I keep staring forward. She's waiting for a response. My primary goal in coming here was to forget about my recent break-up with my on and off again girlfriend, Sloan. This is probably the fiftieth time she left me in the two years that we've been together. Evidently, at the tender age of seventeen, I'm supposed to have my shit together. Or so she says. Tess thinks Sloan is an evil whore and I should just move on already. Easier said than done.

I catch Tess playing with her hair out of the corner of my eye. She smoothes out the edges of the dyed jet black strands and then lets it fall back on her shoulders. I laugh, nudging her slightly.

"Are you waiting for me to respond to that?" I cock my head to her and she tucks her hair behind her ears.

"You asked what I think you should do about Sloan, and I told you." She steals the cigarette back and shrugs. "It's up to you what you choose to do with my amazing girl knowledge."

I laugh again. "Amazing girl knowledge? Please, Bishop. What do you really know about relationships anyway?"

My words cause her to tense at my side. Her nose scrunches up and her cheeks flush red.

"You're a dick, Perry. I take back what I said." She turns and faces me full-on. "You deserve to be treated like shit."

She pushes up on her palms to stand and I grab her wrist with a sigh. "Listen, I'm sorry okay? I'm acting like an asshole."

The tension is her arm subsides and she sits back down. When she looks over at me expectantly, I light another cigarette. I watch the smoke billow out over the rooftop for a moment before I speak.

"I'm tired of feeling this way with her." I laugh bitterly. "The fucked up thing is, I really do love her.

Tess rolls her eyes. "You like the way she looks. There's no possible way you could like her for her personality."

I take another drag, ignoring her assumption altogether. The simple fact is, I like Sloan for a different reason. Even though every curve of her body is banging, and truth be told, I could never turn down a blonde with a bitchy attitude, that's still not what draws me to her. Despite how fucking annoying her nagging and complaining tends to be, she makes me want to be better. Pleasing Sloan has basically been a full-time job, and lately, I haven't been doing pretty good at it.

Tess sighs dramatically. "Okay, you big cry baby. I'm sorry for not being more sensitive to your feelings."

I arch an eyebrow and she giggles, shoving me in the arm. I sway to the side and keep the look of irritation on my face. It's not real, but she doesn't know that. I actually like when she messes with me, it makes me feel better for not having the balls to stand up to a hundred and ten-pound girl with obvious daddy issues.

Tess's expression turns more serious and she clasps her hands in her lap. "You want to know what I really think?"

I nod.

She looks up at me through her thick eyelashes and holds my stare. "I think Sloan tries to make you into something that you're not and I for one, don't like that. I like the person that you are and fuck her if she thinks you should change."

I let out a whistle. "Well, shit. I didn't realize you thought so highly of me."

She rolls her eyes again, but then she smiles. It lights up her entire face and for a second I forget what I'm upset about. For a brief moment sitting up here on this roof makes me feel normal. I don't have to worry about all the ways I disappoint my father on a daily basis, or be hounded about college from Sloan. Right now I feel perfect and I know exactly what I'm going to do.

Fuck it up like everything else.

***

Later that night, the rain is pouring down outside the sliding glass doors to my back porch. I've been staring out into the darkness for so long I think for a moment I might be seeing things. But sure enough, right on cue, Sloan appears tapping on the glass. Her clothes are soaked from the rain and her hair is clinging to her face.

For a moment I consider leaving her out there, but I could never do that. I grit my teeth and stand up from my chair to let her in. Before I can even slide the door all the way back she throws her arms around my neck. Her entire body is shaking, but I can't tell if it's from the cold, or the tears that are inevitably falling down her cheeks. I prepare myself for the speech that's about to come.

"I'm so sorry, Perry," she chokes out between sobs. She looks up at me with mascara running down her face. "I don't know why I keep doing this. I hate this so much right now."

I don't know why she keeps doing this either, but then again I'm not the one ending our relationship every other week.

With a heavy sigh, I pull her the rest of the way inside. After shrugging off my hoodie, I drape it over her shoulders and run my hands down her arms.

"I can't keep doing this, Sloan."

Her eyes flick up to mine and if I were smart, I would look away. But, I'm not smart.

"I know," she whispers, wiping the black smudges from under her eyes. She leans into me again and wraps her arms around my waist. "I love you. I only want to be with you."

Every part of me is screaming to tell her to get fucking lost, but I don't. Honestly, I don't think I ever will. For as long as Sloan keeps coming back, I'm going to let her. She knows it as well as I do and I don't think that will ever change.

"I know, baby," I say, my voice heavy. I kiss her temple and rest my chin on the top of her head. "I love you, too."

Her grip tightens around me and just like that, Sloan owns me again. She always does. She tortures every piece of my tattered soul with the promise of forever but she never really gives it to me. So I wait. Until the day she finally does.