Alexandra and Finn had been friends since they first met when she went to an NXT her cousin Sabrina and her best friend Seth Rollins. She loved everything about him from his personality, to his bright beautiful eyes, and of course, his amazing smile...
I'm not even sure how to explain what happened or how. I loved him I hated him (sometimes) I had mixed emotions for someone that I only knew for a few years and it was driving me insane. Falling in love is such a scary thing. It's especially crazy for someone like me who made themselves unable to ever date after seeing some of their closest friends and family get their hearts destroyed. One of my cousins that I looked up to growing up became FWB with someone I swore that they would eventually marry.
One of my first friends in OVW (A/N: while writing this I accidentally put OVE at first. Lol I guess I got Ohio Versus Everything on the brain) who just happened to be my niece that I didn't know about got her heart shattered to pieces by someone who she was engaged to. It turned out that this person was cheating on her the whole time and the way she reacted...was very reasonable. After seeing some of these things take place it made me terrified of the unknown. Sometimes I think we're afraid of heartbreak and or rejection so we don't put ourselves out there to find that one person who could be the perfect one because of fear.
Sometimes we're afraid of the demon that lives inside of us. You know the one that usually protects you from harm, but also can hurt you at the same time? Well...that was me, I was a good girl and he was a good boy, but I let my inner demons take over big time. He was the best part of me or at least I wanted him to be, but sometimes he brought out the worse in me. He was all that I'd ever wanted and more, but I was always so afraid of him.
I loved him and that honestly scared the hell out of me. Some of my favorite moments inside and outside of WWE had something to do with him. He filled the empty void in my heart that one of my closest friends made when they left. He made my days brighter and everything, but I was so scared to be with him. I was afraid of falling in love with him and afraid of losing him...if I'm honest I was afraid of it all.
Unfortunately, it was so hard to pull myself away from him. He was like a drug and I was badly addicted. He breathed the life back into for the first time in forever, but sometimes my inner demons made him take that happiness away. I was bad for him and I knew it, but I didn't want to pull myself away from happiness. I was madly in love with Fergal Devitt aka Finn Balor
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and hopefully, he would Save Me From Myself...if I didn't destroy him first.
