Slow Dance

I. All I Ask

What am I doing here?

Karen has just dropped me off, reassuring me that I will be fine. In case I'm not and the dinner is a disaster, Karen and I have worked out a system. I can just speed dial Karen under the table, and Karen will know that I need a getaway car (without either of us needing to pick up and have a conversation. Thank goodness; last time I tried to text SOS to Karen from a Buckingham dinner three years ago, the ABBA song started blasting.)

I want to turn around and leave right now. I am here for Will. I won't even think about him. At least I will try not to.

I am outside the Buckingham house. I nervously flatten my black diaphanous chiffon blouse. Looking down, I wonder what I've been thinking. Black leather skirt and new knee-high platform boots? I hope I won't trip since I haven't broken the boots in, and I hope I won't make a fool out of myself wearing this skirt.

Will I look like a fool? After all, SHE is 20 years younger than me... Screw it! I look sexy and gorgeous! And now, I need to hurry in and grab a glass of wine! I would kill to get drunk... You think anyone would notice?

The door swings open. 

"Stevie!" Will gathers me into his arms and hugs me tight. 

I savor the warm embrace. 

Wow, this kid has grown up. I feel his lean, yet firm muscular arms. His chest is solid like a man's. And his cologne--Lindsey taught him well. I am very sensitive to smells (that AXE stuff is the worst thing on this planet), but Will smells lovely.

"How are you, Will?" I cup the young man's face.

"Just great, but even better now that you're here!"

I gaze at his face and see that he's being genuine. That's such a throwaway line, but when I see that smile--the one that's identical to Lindsey's--my heart stops.

"Come in! Come in!" He offers me an arm--what a gentleman!--and leads me through the spacious house and into the dining room. 

"Stevie's here! Doesn't she look great?!" Will announces to the table and pull out my chair for me. Right beside Lindsey. 

I look around the table. Christine is beaming across from me, with John and then Mick at her side. They all say a brief but happy hello. 

Most of the table is filled with people I don't know. Must be Kristen's friends. 

I see another friendly face. Jeff! He's always liked me. I've always liked him. He looks bored out of his mind--sitting next to Kristen. They've never really gotten along but have that forced amicability that is often between in-laws. When he sees me, he gives me a toothy grin and then darts his eyes to Kristen, rolling his eyes for me. I have to suppress a barking laugh. 

Kristen sits at the end of the table. I think I see her give me an odd look. If there is a look that can be a cross between being seething mad, looking constipated, feeling antsy and anxious--wrapped up in the veneer of a perfectly plastered smile. I feel the same way about you, I think saucily in my head.

On the other side of Kristen are Leelee and Stella. "Hey, Auntie!" They both yell. Kristen hates that title. I love it. I blow a kiss to them.

I finally get to Lindsey, who's sitting right beside me at the head of the table. Who I've been saving for last. Who I've been avoiding.

He watches me with a quiet intensity. It takes my breath away, just like everything does about him. Stop that, Stevie! 

"Hi, Steph," he whispers. He pecks my cheek. Is it just my imagination, or is he checking me out? His eyes seem to drift up and down, but I'm not complaining.