I opened the door that morning, to see Jason’s mother standing there. Her face was tearstained, but she wasn’t crying at that moment. She extended her arm to hand me a white envelope. “They found this among Jason’s things. It was addressed to you, but never mailed,” she said.
I tried to smile. “Thank you,” I said taking the envelope. She nodded before walking toward her car. I closed the door and locked it, before walking up the stairs, down the hall and into my bedroom. For a while I sat on my bed staring at the envelope.
After a bit of mental preparation and a few deep breaths, I began to tear the envelope. Inside was a piece of lined paper, which had a handwritten message.
Dear Anna,
I’m sorry. I regret leaving you every moment, and I just can’t apologize enough. Please, just try to find it in your heart to forgive me. I can’t live without your forgiveness, just like I can’t live without you. I have to do something, and I don’t want to do it. I can’t explain now, but I will. I’ll explain it all. But for now, just remember, there’s a reason that they retrieved my body.
Sincerely, Jason
I read the letter again. The last sentence stuck with me the most. “It’s not possible,” I thought. I was angry, angry at myself. I actually had hope that he may be alive, and I didn’t want to have hope. I didn’t want to go by thinking that there is a chance that he is still out there right before the verified his death. Again, I looked over the letter.
Even if he was out there, why would he fake his own death?
