Not Now

Through My Eyes

Looking, listening hearing your sweet sensual voice.

Bringing me comfort whenever I feel crestfallen.

But why do you speak the words that you do?

“Mommy can you sing for me?”

“Not now…”

“Mommy can you make me pretty like you?”

Talking with gleeful content but met with a distressed voice.

“Not now...we can try later...not now…”

“Try what later mommy?...”

You holding me close to your heart; I feel so connected to you.

I can feel so endeared when I hear you.

But why do you sound so antsy?

Are you nervous...frightened?

“Mommy are you alright?”

“I can’t handle this…”

“What do you mean mommy?”

“Not now...it's just too much…”

“What is mommy?”

Soon she lays down in the room of white; nervous of what is to come.

As she lays lying I can hear her sweet voice again before she lays to rest.

“I’m...not ready yet…”

As her voice goes off into a contrived slumber I start to feel something.

The room goes cold and I can’t feel her anymore.

I feel my heart racing I can’t find her anywhere.

I’m scared I feel cold now and as everything becomes dull in my fear the room of white becomes black.

As I begin to feel quietus touching my heart like the betrayal of a scorpion's sting I can only say one thing in my quivered voice.

“Mommy where are you...I’m scared…”