broken (narry)

zero: a funeral

zero: a funeral

He didn't want to be here, he didn't want to listen to yet another person stand up and talk about how great of a person his boyfriend had been. He couldn't take it, the pain hitting him over and over again with every word that was spoken. Harry wasn't ready to face it, he wasn't ready to say goodbye... He never thought he'd have to, yet they were sitting in a church with his... Harry couldn't even think about it, his heart breaking all over again. He'd never get to hear his voice again, see his smile... He'd never get to tell him how much he loved him ever again. 

"I want to thank you all for coming. It means so much to us all to see how many lives our son impacted in his own short one... Adam will be missed terribly-" Adam's mother says, standing just behind the coffin that was now thankfully closed. Harry had spent majority of the viewing just staring at what was inside, trying to wrap his mind around the fact that it was indeed Adam in there. It had been a week since he passed and Harry still thought this was some sort of nightmare. 

He wished it was a nightmare. If it was a nightmare, at least he'd wake up. Harry wanted to so desperately to wake up, to have that reassurance that Adam was still there... but as he listens to Adam's mother talk, it starts to slowly sink in that this was real. Harry could feel his chest tightening, his hands shaking as he tries to run them through his hair but all he can think about is the fact that it was Adam in that coffin. 

His Adam. The love of his life. 

Harry felt hollow, his chest aching so badly he wasn't sure if he could ever breathe again. He couldn't even sit through the whole service, practically running out of the church before he burst into tears for what felt like the millionth time that week. The wall is the only thing holding him up as he slumps forward, his body shaking from the sobs. 

He could feel the rain soaking his suit, but he doesn't care. He couldn't bring himself to go back in there, he couldn't face that reality right now. He wasn't ready for this, he wasn't ready for a life without Adam. All he could think about was how a week ago they were sitting on the couch, arguing over what movie to watch. Harry had wanted to watch some Disney movie, Adam wanted to watch Titanic. They watched Titanic after Adam had promised they'd watch Harry's movie next week. Harry didn't even want to watch the movie, he had just wanted to spend time with Adam after so long apart from him. 

Harry watches as they bring out the coffin, having stood outside for the rest of the service. He can't bring himself to join the crowd, not wanting to be around anyone because their pain was different. They all loved Adam, but not in the way Harry had. Harry doesn't join them at the grave side, knowing full well he wouldn't be able to handle it. 

But Harry wasn't ready to go back to an empty flat, still filled with Adam's things because Harry couldn't bare to part with them just yet. He walks to the park instead, sitting on a bench that overlooked one of the ponds. He'd met Adam not far from here, so it was only fitting that he'd mourn here. 

It wasn't long until Liam finds him, sitting on the bench next to Harry without saying a word. He wraps an arm around his friend, allowing him to rest his head on his shoulder. They look out at the pond together, Harry slowly starting to calm down but he still felt like he couldn't breathe. He pulls away from Liam's embrace, looking at his friend for the first time in days. 

"I'm not ready for this," He whispers, his voice hoarse and all Liam can do is hug him again. 

Harry was broken and Liam just didn't know how to fix him. 

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welllllllllllllllllll here's the prologue, sorry it's short af. 

feedback is appreciated my friennnnnnnnnnnnds. 

connie xx