Maybe, Just Maybe

Chapter One

Before I met the love of my life, I was miserable, sad, and scared. I didn't even know how sad I was until he lit up my life. Before I met him, I was with this guy named Patrick, and he wasn't a very nice guy. It was around nine months before I left him, but I wanted to leave by the third month. I tried and tried but he'd show up to my house and cut himself, threatening to kill himself and I felt so bad, I didn't want him to die. However, I didn't understand how much bullshit he was full of until I officially left him. He would constantly push sexual things, nothing to far ever happened but he pushed to the point I had to pretend somethings felt good just, so he'd stop bugging me about it. I was only fourteen-fifteen during this relationship, and with my sister having a child at an early age, I knew the risks it came with and I wanted to make sure the person I did it with was someone risking those risks with. He wasn't the person worth risking it for.

There were many times he told me he loved me, gave me soft kisses and took me on sunset walks while holding my hand and he'd tell me he thought I was beautiful, and I thought that was enough. He was always high, either off weed or occasionally meth (which I suspected but didn't know for sure until soon before I left him), he was also a chain smoker, and when we fought, especially when he wasn't high and didn't smoke recently, he would get angry. In fact, he was angry a lot with me. I remember the first time he slapped my face, I was completely stunned and just sat there frozen in fear while tears slipped out of my eyes. He walked away and promised it would never happen again, but everyone lies don't they. He would occasionally hurt me again, no he didn't beat me, but I remember the bruises and sore spots on my skin. One month in September, where it was still high eighties, I was wearing pants just to hide a bruise he gave me when he slammed his hand down on my thigh one night. I think the only reason I stayed was to protect my little sisters honestly, who knows what he might do If I broke up with him longer than 24 hours long. Before I met Hunter, I had no idea what love, or affection was. I only really knew anger and hugs honestly. He showed me an entire other world, safety, and I couldn't be more grateful for the things he's showed and taught me.

The best part of my life happened late April of twenty sixteen. I was fifteen, our parents were dating, and I had no interest in visiting his kids. I liked my mom's boyfriend a lot, but I just preferred being alone in the quite and not around loud, raging kids. My mom and I fought about it for a while. She knew I get into depressive episodes, sometimes weeks at a time, and this was one of them. I just wanted to be in bed and sleep but she insisted that I was being rude for not wanting to go and meet her boyfriend's son, Hunter. One out of his six boys whom lived with him at the time. I reluctantly gave up because mothers are stubborn, and I really didn't have the energy to battle my case anymore. So, I walked out in the lazy clothes I was wearing without makeup or bothering to brush my hair or put on perfume in case I smelt like ass. The drive was long, but I thought it would be my favorite part about his. Lance, my moms boyfriend, had a high up truck that road smooth, and I sat in the back cab near a window with my music in my ears ignoring all the chaos my own siblings were causing in the truck.

When I got there, I had a complete "fuck it" mood. I didn't care, I just wanted this day over with so almost no anxiety about meeting the strange boy Lance has talked about on occasion. When my mom knocked, I was standing right behind her and the door opened quickly. A tall, thin but toned man with brown short hair and mahogany brown eyes pops out of the door with a quaint smile and welcomes my mom, then glances at me and I notice his smile grow and his eyes light up "Hey." He said through his bright smile I was mildly obsessing over. I waved and looked down, knowing my face was getting red and feeling the anxiety creep up my throat. But who wouldn't be nervous around this guy, he was so fricking cute!"

I walked into the house behind my mom and carefully watching my sisters, making sure they got inside as well. He sat on his couch and played Call of Duty and lounged about in a very attractive way. I continued walking and made my way into the backyard and sat down on the patio which overlooks the Payette river. It was gorgeous, and I loved the peace it brings when I tuned out the outside noise and focused on the noise of the water crashing into each other. Shortly after however the rest of my family came out to join me and I'll skip the next thirty minutes or so.

After Lance made hunter come out to join us he took me, and my little sister on a walk. Supposedly there was a trail that ran alongside the river and despite the peace it did bring, the anxiety was overwhelming. The trail was full of trees, dense bushes and mass greenery, triggered my allergies but made me feel out in the wild. It was so beautiful I wish I had better words to explain its lush appearance and crisp smell. He was very polite, and he had such a beautiful, smooth voice that just rolled right off his tongue. He asked a lot of questions and I tried my hardest to speak without sounding dimwitted, using bigger words and trying to be more descriptive than I would typically talk. One, to impress him and two, he was nineteen, so I had to make sure I sounded sort of close to his level, at least try. While we were walking along and chatting about our hobbies and families, he'd occasionally look back at me and smile widely making my stomach flutter. I knew it was a horrible idea to start liking him, because my mother was head over heels for his father and he could very well be my step brother. Which I kept reminding myself but every time he looked back, he got more and more attractive.

After awhile we reached this area, no trees or bushes apart from a few logs of fallen down trees laying on a bed of white rocks. It wasn't a large space but the fact it was immediately off the river and surrounded by trees made you feel isolated and protected. We dipped our feet in and tried skipping rocks, which by the way I am terrible at. He laughed a few times and it made my insides warm up. Being around him made everything feel better and for me that was a first. I knew not to get attached because if Lance wasn't to work out me and Hunter would never see each other again and I'd rather spare the pain of not being around such a great and happy person.

However, that wasn't the best part of the first day we met. When we arrived back at the house shortly after we went to A&W as a group, me and Hunter going in his car alone because of lack of seating in the truck. We made it there before our families and seated in a booth at the back. He looked at the menus and new exactly what he wanted, and Oreo milkshake (which I found was his favorite desert to get when out). He picked up the old-fashioned phone on the wall, and not knowing it was connected shouted "you idiot" at me for something dorky I was doing, and it echoed throughout the store. I busted out laughing and he softly said "sorry." And put the phone up before cracking up with me. I would have been absolutely mortified but he was fine with it, just laughing at what he did. Which made me admire him. He was so confident and brave it had me in awe, I always aspired to be someone like him but never got the courage to do so.

Our families joined eventually in the booth next to us and my little sister Brooke sat beside me while Hunter sat a crossed from us. We ate our ice cream and made jokes, his dad cracked a few and made us all laugh. Afterwards we went to my house and I again road in Hunters car on the way there, the long drive was nice next to him, seemed to fly by. We talked about cars and music, bands we love and radio stations along with some other chit-chat. When we got to my place I ran to the bathroom to put some makeup on, knowing I looked awful next to him. Simple mascara, eyeliner and concealer where needed, not taking to much time but making small improvements. After finishing I looked in the mirror, happy with what I saw and excited to go back to see him. Although I was still with Patrick at the time, Hunter was very special, although I didn't feel the connection, yet I still knew he was funny and smart, dorky and off the charts handsome. I plopped next to him on our couch in the living room (of course giving must space between) and smiled, he smiled back, and my heart glowed a little in my chest.

Fast forward a day and him and his father came over again to spend the day, and eventually the night, which I was ecstatic about, so was he I think. Unprepared but he got a flushed, pink color in his cheeks when his father brought it up, and I could feel my face warm too. After our parents went to bed, we stayed downstairs in my living to watch movies, he picked Back to The Future, a collection I haven't seen in a very long time and talked through most of it. We sat on opposite sides of the couch, which slightly killed me, I really wanted to sit next to him, but I rang in my head over and over "step brother" which didn't seem to help the situation. We got through the first one, he really likes the old man, Dr. Emmett Brown, and I did too, we talked a lot about him, Hunter mentioned him being a "badass" and I giggled in agreement. We started watching the second one and I tried extremely hard to pay attention, but I kept slowly drifting to sleep. Regardless of my persistence against falling asleep in the middle of the movie I eventually did, only waking up one half way to feel him stand up off the couch, turn the TV off and slip a blanket over my body. I smiled and warmed up instantly, probably the sweetest thing I have ever had done to me by anyone but my parents, which showed me he was a very special guy.