I'm here - Michael Mell x reader

One

your pov

Your eyes are fixed on the screen before you. Some crappy tv about moving to Spain, or something. "1 2 hours." you heard a faint, raspy voice whisper. Your SQUIP. As if on cue, the past few months flashed before your eyes. Buying your SQUIP. Possibly both the best and worst thing to happen to you ever, at the exact same time. Your thoughts then drifted to the lies your SQUIP made you tell, how they had ruined both your own life, and the lives of people around you. You sighed, replaying the events of the last 10 months back in your mind.

*flashback time bitchessssssss*

Your best friend, or who you thought.. was your best friend, Rich Goranski. He told you all about the SQUIP before he left to live in New Jersey, with his, rather horrible, you admitted, dad. At first, you hated the idea! Then, a few months later, after Rich left and you started the next year... All alone. He was your only friend, a loser, you'd admit. But that was just it. You two would walk the hallways with a sense of pride, losers, but together. Best friends. You remember how, when things got rough, he would practically engulf you in his arms. You were even shorter than rich, somehow. And then.... he left. He left you, all alone. Promised he'd keep in touch, but he did not. So, feeling like all hope was lost, you decided to get a SQUIP. That day after school, you ran to the back of the payless at your nearest mall, tears in your eyes. You blew all of the money you had on it. Quickly, you took it. After a lot of pain and confusion, your SQUIP began to instruct you on what to do, what to wear. You felt like an entirely new person that night, it was amazing. Then the next day came... Your SQUIP began to restrict how much you were eating.. if it let you eat at all. If you talked to the wrong person, or had so much as a thought that was considered "geeky" or "nerdy", he would shock you. You were content, having a lovely group of friends and newfound confidence. Your truest desire, could not be achieved until you finished high school, apparently. So, your SQUIP decided it would help you in high school, until that day. You were fine with this, be it a little annoying that you could could not so much as sing a song from a musical in front of people without a large shock from your SQUIP. It told you that, once high school was over, you could go back to it. In your spare time, you sung at the top of your lungs, but that was it. Your spare time. Then, the lies began. You got the upgrade... your SQUIP would take control of you, and make you tell mean, horrible things about your TEACHERS, not even your friends or just students but you said horrible, mean, life-ruining things about your teachers. And in one fell swoop? You think that's the expression, anyway. It all came crumbling down. Your "friends" ratted to the school, and you had to come clean. You lost your friends, every and anyone you thought you could trust? Left you. Your mother was so disappointed. And of course, you couldn't just tell everyone about your SQUIP, so you took the blame. You were banned from the internet, your phone, grounded, and cut off from every single thing. Your SQUIP was, apologetic. To say the least. You had told it to leave you for 24 hours.

*mkay flashback shizzazzle done idk*

"I mean, New Jersey isn't Spain, but your new house sure is nice." your grandmother says, pulling you right out of your thoughts. Right. You were sitting in your grandmother's house, two days before you left for New Jersey. A fresh start. Your SQUIP was not too happy about it, of course. But this, you had to do. "I guess not." you sighed, earning a weak smile from your grandmother before she left to make her dinner. You looked around the room, admiring the rustic, yet still bright, interior. Photos of you and your cousins, aunts, uncles, littered the walls. Deciding you would fix your makeup, you head to the bathroom. You look in the mirror, practically despising the person you had become.

*TWTW  studying your body, starving yourself, self-harm. Thinking about it not doing it.*

 As if it were second nature, you pulled your (F/C) sweater off. You pulled your black shorts down with grace, studying the body before you. You traced the sides of your hips, with hatred, rather than anything else. Stretch marks, and old, faded self-harm scars, they decorated of course. Your hands made their way toward your stomach. It still wasn't flat, your stomach still stuck out, and you hated yourself for it. Still, it was better than it was, and your bones were beginning to show. You thought, making your way toward your thighs. New, fresh scars covered your thighs, along with old, faded ones that made their way down toward your ankles. Your SQUIP had... mixed feeling about your self harm.. issue. On one hand, your SQUIP didn't want you to do it at ALL, and actively encouraged you to stop. Sometimes controlling you, forcing you to put it down.The more you thought about it, your SQUIP seemed to fluctuate between two moods. One, the one you saw most often, wasn't exactly.. the nicest person. Or, to be precise, computer? You shook the thought away, continuing with your analysis. He wouldn't let you eat, didn't care if you self harmed, as long as you hid it, or used it for attention. Even though you didn't want to stop, you didn't want people to know, either. But the SQUIP didn't care. It shocked you, barely put up with you singing, but did try to help you sing even a little bit better. It hurled insults at you, lied both to and for you. Then... there was two. It let you eat, it helped you when you were at your worst, would absolutely not let you self harm, helped but, sung with you, danced with you.. you liked that side of your SQUIP. Heck, you LOVED that part of your SQUIP. You shook your head, instantly dismissing that thought. You couldn't fall in love with a supercomputer, let alone one that bullied you like that.

*Doooone!*

Sighing, you pulled on your clothes and went back downstairs. "Do you want some dinner, (Y/N)?" your grandmother asked kindly. "No, thanks." you said, trying to sound as happy, or, okay, as possible. You sank into the couch, sighing. Even without your SQUIP hanging over your head, you didn't want to eat, you still felt the need to exercise. You brushed it off, not thinking too much of it. Before you got your SQUIP, you would constantly forget to eat. It was something Rich would have to constantly remind you to do. Oh, Rich. You sighed. How you missed him, his short, adorable chestnut brown hair. His eyes that seemed to smile, even if it didn't reach his lips. The way he'd make you laugh, the way you two would sit for hours on end, playing video games, and talking. About anything and everything. You missed your friend, too much.

Then it hit you, he didn't even know you were coming to New Jersey. You were enrolled in his school, so you guessed you'd just surprise him. What if it didn't go well? You thought. What if he leaves me alone for good? Was the SQUIP right? What if you were leaving the small, fragments of love you had far, far behind? You felt your breathing becoming shakey, your vision becomes blurred, the world around you felt distanced and strange, yet like you were too aware of it, at the same time. What if... What if... What if... Wh... You tried to breathe and closed your eyes. Finally, you opened your eyes. Everything was okay. You were okay. Everything will be okay. You assured yourself. Picking up your Hamilton bag (earning a quiet groan from a this time unfamiliar voice), and throwing it over your shoulder. "I'm off!" You shouted across the house to your grandmother. "See you soon, love!" She yelled back. And with that, you left to walk back home.

The walk back home was, full of thoughts, as you did not have your phone to drown out your mind. You admired the beautiful scenery, though. You put the keys on your dining table and headed to your room. Sitting on your bed, you felt tears welling up in your eyes, like a secret you couldn't keep. To distract yourself, you ripped off your clothes and pulled on an old, baggy sweater that, admittedly, used to belong to Rich. The distinct smell of tobacco and mens' deodorant that was embedded in the fabric at this point, filling your lungs. To most people, they would be sick at the thought. But not to you. To you? It was comforting. You looked in the mirror, and couldn't hold it back. A lone tear fell down your pale, (SK/C) face. You saw a familiar face behind you in the mirror. Not long after, you heard the familiar, raspy voice you had grown so accustomed to living with inside your head say:

"Did you miss me, (Y/N)?"

(A/N) This is really long lmao sorry but I hope you enjoy I'll have a new update out as soon as I have wifi?? I hope people read this lmaoooo