One Week

Day Five

"Can one desire too much of a good thing?". - (As You Like It, Act IV, Scene I) W. Shakespeare

"What am I supposed to do, Jimin?" The blond was dumbstruck, his hand over his mouth and brows furrowed as he was deep in thought. Suddenly, his head jerked up, and his eyes focused on mine. "HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW!?" He yelled. Rolling my eyes, I got up from his couch and started pacing, nearly ripping out my hair as I crossed the living room and turned.

"I don't know what to do with him... I want to keep him with me, I want to keep him happy." "Keeping him happy and keeping him safe are two different things, Taehyung." "I know that," I said, moving my hands to my hips. "But he feels safe with me." "It doesn't matter if he feels safe, it matters if he is safe. And we both know he'd be better off in that asylum."

"Stop calling it that," I snarled, snapping my head toward him. Setting his jaw, I assumed he would snap back with some smartass remark, but surprisingly, he stayed quiet as he stared at me. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes for a moment before opening them again and softening my tone. "I'm sorry. Just... It's a psych ward, not an asylum. Asylums are for people who are completely insane - people who kill. Jungkook could never kill another person, much less even think about doing something like that."

"Well, I'm sorry, but... why would you keep him under your roof? Especially when you know he needs to be in that- that psych ward. Christ, he just had a nightmare about his hallucination raping him. Raping him, Taehyung. He's completely and utterly convinced that this Yoongi guy exists." "I don't want to give him up. I can't-" "Yes, you can. You keep telling yourself that you can't and he'll never get better."

Stopping in my tracks, my eyes unfocused as I thought about what Jimin had said. I just need to take him, and leave him there. I probably won't ever be able to see him again. Hell, even if I could, I couldn't bring myself to see him. I'd start crying, and then I'd break down, then I'd want to bring him back home with me, and that's the last thing either one of us would need.

But I need him. No, I don't. That's just what I'm telling myself, right? I can let go. I can. I will. I have to.

I can let go.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thank God he's asleep.

I couldn't stop myself. He had had another nightmare. Like last night. This one is even worse, and I'm lost on what to do. Should I call his psychiatrist? This is a lot worse than I thought it could be. Please, not my Jungkook. Not him.. "Don't take him.."

I was in the guest bedroom, only a few steps from the room Jungkook and I share. I was a mess as I cried my eyes out, upset, broken, and torn between trying to help him myself or leaving him in a psych ward forever. That's probably where he needs to be. Dr. Kim was right - I can't take care of him. Why did I ever think I could? "You keep telling yourself that you can't and he'll never get better."

Rolling onto my stomach, my quiet whimpers and sniffles were muffled in the pillow as I nearly suffocated in the fabric. But I didn't care. Repeatedly, I begged and prayed, pleading for... whoever... not to take him. I need him. He needs me. I can't live without him. I refuse to live without him. Someone has to take care of him, someone has to make sure he gets his pills, make sure he doesn't drown himself when he bathes, make sure he goes to his psychiatrist every week-

"Taehyung?" I looked up, turning to face the source of the broken and sleepy voice. "Why are you up so early?" Dear God, he was right. It's nearly four in the morning.

I've been in this room... for three hours?

"It's okay, baby. Go back to sleep." Shaking his head, he insisted upon comforting me, and crawled onto the bed beside me to do just that. Pulling me against him, he took it upon himself to envelope my own role in our love story, running his long fingers through my hair and using his other hand to rub circles on my back. "Why are you crying, oppa?"

Shaking my head, I nuzzled his chest. "Tell me, Tae Tae." I sighed, giving up, realising there was no reason to keep anything from him. "I don't want you to leave me." "I'm not gonna leave you, Taehyung. Why would I?" I immediately felt better with his words, wrapping my arms around him and getting as close as possible without melting our bodies together.

"I hope I never lose you, Jeon Jungkook." He stayed quiet, and I realised that he had actually fallen asleep, resting his chin on top of my head. Eventually, I followed his example, drifting off into unconsciousness and into the dreamless realm behind my eyes.