Types Of People On Wattpad

The "Terrorist"

"Arrogant", "cocky" and "obnoxious" are a few choice words that may be used to describe those who can't stop bragging about themselves. No matter how humble you are, you probably know one of these people-and at some point in your life, you may have been tempted to do some boasting yourself. But what makes people want to brag about themselves? It generally isn't done for the purpose of annoying others, as much as it might seem that way.

On a typical day, our Wattpad News Feeds are full of swagger and bravado. Someone always has something to brag about. We've all done it, although certain people (and we know exactly who they are) boast way more than others. You might assume a big-time bragger is a classic narcissist with an ego the size of Manhattan.

Turns out, you're flat wrong.

Most people brag because they want to be accepted, or they want to fit in, especially in the company of those they feel are better than those that brag. In this case, it becomes a sign of insecurity.

I know I can't be the only person to notice this. We've all scrolled through our news feed and found ourselves reading updates from "friends" who seem to be having the "BEST DAY EVER!!!" seven days a week, 365 days a year. In fact, I've noticed that a healthy handful of people consider Wattpad a place for them to constantly tell the world how absolutely fabulous their lives are. They might as well have rebranded the social networking site we know and love as "BragPad."

Now, good things happen to all of us, and at times we want to share those good things with the community at large. Inviting others to experience your joy along with you is a beautiful gesture. However, I'm not talking about that. What I'm referring to are the Wattpad users who make it their sole goal to let you know how amazing their life is in comparison to yours. I call these people "Wattpad terrorists."

The Wattpad terrorist's reign of terror manifests as incessant bragging. Not a day goes by that they don't use their overly joyous proclamations of their wonderful existence to wreak havoc on the self-esteem of those of us who are having a "so-so" day. According to the Wattpad terrorist, the sun is always shining on them, every day is a holiday, and they shit bars of pure gold. They will never post about how the stress of updating a story horrifically triggered their irritable bowel syndrome and caused them to leave their very own Jackson Pollack all over the Starbucks bathroom; how they went to battle with a cockroach the size of a developing country in their apartment and lost; or how they recently got dumped for someone twice their size whose breath smells like hickory-smoked sausage. No, instead they opt to post, "Off to Bali!! Third vacation this year!!!"

Listed below are merely a few of the categories of Wattpad braggart. If you know any of the following culprits, please use caution when dealing with them, as they tend to be highly into themselves and may not notice when you are choking, drowning or in need of immediate medical attention.

The Vote Bragger:

These are the Wattpad users who love to brag about work and post things like "Wow another 100,000 reads?! it's only been four days" or "Ohmergawd! My story is Number One in the Romace, Teen-fic, and historical fiction. Yet it has nothing to do with any of those genres?!!1!1!With a large swath of us users dealing with the fact we don't have as much read as we want, no one wants to be reminded that our stories aren't nearly as popular as your, let alone the actual number of reads and votes. There might be a better way to share your book status than by posting, "On a roll! I actually have to stop adding stories!" "Wish I could also be lazy and enjoy the sunshine, but as usual, I have to update," or the worst: "Who uploaded fourteen chapters in one week and has two thumbs? THIS GUY!!!"

For the next bragger you might not be as familiar with it as the last. But there are definitely the select few on here that do this.

The Relationship Bragger:

These are the Wattpad users who act like they don't see their significant other every single day or have access to a phone, constantly posting personal love letters on a very impersonal, public website. Hey, instead of posting about how your significant other is the most amazing person who ever roamed the Earth, why not just walk the 20 feet to the kitchen and whisper those same sweet nothings into his or her ear? The main objective of this person's status update is to let you know that no matter how much you may love the special person in your own life, you've just been outdone, because they love theirs more. Of course, these relationships usually end in an equally public disaster.

Take this satirical mock comment from an article on the insufferable aspects of Facebook, where bragging ranks No. 1:

On my walk home from work, I was whistled at twice, honked at twice, but a car did get in an accident while slowing down to stare at me. That's what running five miles a day and two hours at the gym will do. Although I hardly have time with my yoga and Zen meditation classes and pursuing my third doctorate while working to feed the hungry and bring about world peace. I couldn't do it without my family. Thanks so much to my loving and super model wife and honor roll, well behaved kids. I really have a wonderful life. It's great to be me and hard to be humble.

I'm all for wanting to tell the world "Hey! I'm important!". We need to feel proud of our accomplishments. There's just a fine line between "Oh man, I'm really psyched about this!" and "Check me out, f#ckers!".