The way i see things

State of confusion

So me being me, I thought that those 2 weeks; I would of had time to heal,and get over my ex. I didn't,it only made thins worse. Seeing him trying to !move on hurt me sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo freaking much. Like if someone would of told me I would have it as bad as I do now....I'd probably laugh and tell them to f off. Its almost as if I'm lost without him. I'm more depressed now,its harder for me to focus, I can't eat,it takes me 2 entire playlists and a movie to fall asleep every night, minus the crying.
I wish I could get a do over. Maybe then, we both wouldn't of gotten hurt so much, knowing the stuff we do now. Everyday I see him, he's so happy,it kills me slowly inside. I wish things were different ya know. Like before now I wasn't the type to be this pressed over no nigga,but he has me all the way gone. Ive been in many relationships since we've split, but I know its hurting him to see me with these no good niggas, honestly I only want him,and I'm doing this to get his attention. So far its been working.
We spoke yesterday for almost 2 hours about any and everything, as friends, but then when I started to think things over, I knew I couldn't just be friends with him. Overall though, I can't say these 2 weeks have been awful, they haven't. I've had time to boost my self confidence,and my self esteem. Don't interpret this the wrong way now. See I've always loved myself,I've just learned to love and appreciate myself even more now that, I'm temporarily  single. I say this because, my previous bf caught me and my ex,in a very compromising position, and although nothing happened,I still felt awful and I had to end it.
I just hope that after our talk,my ex boyfriend will seriously think about an us and want to get back together.... Hopefully😖

             
                                                  K.D💞