Ti K' T'nash-veh T'hy'la (Kirk/Spock)

Prologue

Captains Log (suplimental):

                 Enterprise in orbit around the newly discovered planet, #5468. Under Starfleet orders we are to discover as much as we can about the planet. However, we havestrict orders to obey the prime directive and avoid interfering with their society unless necessary. Not much is known about planet 5468 other than its inhabitants are humanoid to some existent; also its landforms are an exact replica of 14th to 15th century earth, with two exceptions. The landforms that would be Japan and China On earth are 15% larger. In 8 minutes I, security officer Smith, security officer Gomez, security officer Michal, and Mr. Spock are to beam down to the planet's surface to explore the planet in more detail.

                Mr. Spock. Endless waves of guilt wash over me. It's all your fault. You hurt him. Why would he ever talk to you again?  My thoughts forcefully cause me to relive that event that took place almost three weeks ago. The familiar whoosh of the bridge door reminds where I'm at. In the back of my mind I hope its bones coming to check on how things are going. As I turn I know already. As he walks through the opening doors the displaced air catches the ever so rare out of place strands of this feather soft hair. Spock looks up from his PADD. Those big Beautiful chocolate brown eyes meet mine. Before what I had done to him three weeks ago I might have seen a spark in those eyes, a glint of emotion. He might have even graced me with a Vulcan smile or even an ever so hidden human one. Now his eyes are cold and unemotional, a far, painful cry from the ones I had become accustomed to.

                You're Fault. You hurt him. And now you expect him to treat you the same and even look at you the same? You're Lucky he looks at you at all. I mentally winced. But outwardly I smile; I gave him my most charming convincing smile I can manage. But even I as I choke back pain and smile my face in half. I know my smile doesn't reach my eyes, and I know he sees right pass it. But I keep smiling, I hope beyond on all reason that a little of the spark in his eyes will return and he my smile back in his own Vulcan way. Instead Spock Simply gives me a curt nod and makes his way to his station. I instantly feel my face bombshell. I aimlessly watch the new planet in a way it gives me a fraction of the comfort of seeing my own homworld. Home. I was planning on taking Spock there one day. Show him where I gre-.

"Scott tee captain" The chief engineer Montgomery Scott was a welcome interruption from my thoughts.

"Yes Mr. Scott. What do you have?"

"Transporters and security team ready for beaming, Sir"

"Thank You Mr. Scott, Mr. Spock and myself on route now."

"Aye, Scott out."

                With a single press of a button the small exchange of words is over. And a new challenge begins. Not just for the planet below, not just for Starfleet. But also a personal one, for Mr. Spock and myself. This will be the First time since then Spock and I will be working together. For everyone's sake I hope we can find at least an unsteady equilibrium. "Mr. Spock." With a single sad excuse for "Come with me" hand gesture he is trailing close behind me. But I am anxious. The turbolift alone Spock will not be easy. The Beads of sweat on my face are momentarily dried by the lifts doors closing behind us. Locking us in. Together.

"Transporter Room One" The sound I make is a sad excuse for a voice. Spock, he's close enough, that if I wished to I could reach out and just barely touch him. Yet...He seems so distant. Next to me he's so rigid I can practically feel waves of energy radiating off of him. If only I could reach him and... Touch? Touch!? He's a touch telepath why would he care what you feel? All he cares about is how you made him feel, terrible. He doesn't care about you. In fact, I bet he would not give a damn if you were injured on this mission. He may have cared once but that was before he learned your lesson. Your entire fault. How my thought my own thoughts crippled me was astonishing. Mostly because it was likely they were true.

"S-Spock. I-" I can form syllables but no words.

"Yes, Captain?" Spock's rich deep voice was a mirror to his eyes. Once warm and sweet, especially when he gifted rare treat of letting me see the emotions that played in his eyes was now a flat, cold almost toneless. A punishment I well deserved.

"Nothing" A lie. I'm beginning to wonder how long I can grip the railing of the lift before I throw myself to the floor beg for his forgiveness. Surely he see's I suffer. Just as surely I know I will go on suffering for him if his happiness is in not being with me, I will suffer forever if only to see him happy. And yet, I wish I could at least sit and play chess with again and talk with him again.

Finally to my sweet bliss the doors of the lift open. And just like the coward I truly am, I scurry out, Spock not far behind.    

"Mister Scott, report please."

"Ay, beam down crew ready. Planet class M, high in nitrogen, oxygen and trace elements." I give Scotty a nod of approval, meanwhile trying to ignore his nervous glances at Mr. Spock and myself.

"Alright everybody, you herd Mr. Scott. But let me make one thing clear, the Prime Directive is in full effect. You are all to report to me or first officer Spock every fifteen minutes.  Anyone who fails to do this shall be beamed back aboard immediately.  Starfleet is serious about this, so...we have to be just as serious." My crew looked at me with stern determination some nodding in approval.  My proud crew, It took me so long to get to the rank of captain and even then I never could have imaged I would have such a fine crew.

"Alright everyone, prepare for beaming"  I pause momentary to make sure everyone is ready as they step on to the Transporter Pad. Satisfied with what I see I go to take a step towards the pad. As I life my foot to take a step a draft of heat washes over my left side. I involuntarily cringe because even before the heated draft had passed a blotch of blue and black streaked in front of me.  Then he was simply there, on the transporter pad. He stood looking over information on his PADD, regal as ever.

                I shake my head trying to rid myself of thoughts of Spock. As if it were that easy, it's never easy. And as I walk to the transporter pad I feel as if parts of my life may never be easy again.  Not without him, but I would rather my life be hard than Spock to be unhappy.  

"Mr. Scott...Energize."