Chapter 23

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Joe didn’t cry, against all his expectations. He felt like he should do something. So Joe bowed his head and prayed the only prayer he knew (“And now I lay me down to sleep…”) over Frog’s body.

“Um, amen.” Joe didn’t pray too frequently, but he still felt as though as he did a good job of properly saying goodbye. Since he couldn’t bury the body, Joe just left him there. Someone will find him eventually, he rationalized. With everything he could possibly do done, Joe left the secret living facilities, once and for all.

He didn’t at all expect what awaited him in the hospital.

“Mr. Robinson?” Alice asked, panting slightly. “Can we slow down?”

She may as well have asked if she could wiggle her finger in his ear to see if it sounded like Pac-Man. Everyone’s eyes turned to her.

“NO!” Mr. Robinson replied in an extremely high-pitched tone of voice. “Are you kidding me?!”

“What?” Yeesh, Alice thought. Touchy… “Why?”

“Why? You’re asking me why?!” Mr. Robinson said in the same voice.

“It’s because of the state of emergency, stupid!” shouted a classmate’s voice behind Alice.

Who just called me stupid? Alice thought, clenching her hands into fists. Wait, state of emergency?!

“Meh. He’ll probably survive,” Mr. Woodward said, shrugging. He had just sort of given up on getting the last kid, Joe, from the hospital. Mr. Woodward was still weak, and most of the kids were accounted for. If he’s survived this far with an alien, he can survive another day or two.

“Probably?!” Preston shouted, trying to run in the hospital. “He’s my friend, damn it!”

“Preston. Preston…. Stop struggling, boy!”

Preston did stop. “How do you know my name?”

“We know everything. Now come on!”

“MORE SECRETS!” Preston pointed a finger at him. “I am tired of this secrecy!”

Mr. Woodward groaned. Preston sat on the ground.

“What are you doing?” Mr. Woodward asked, slightly afraid of the answer.

“I’m not leaving,” Preston said. “I am not leaving until you give me answers.”

“ALRIGHT!” Mr. Woodward said, giving up. “What do you want to know?”

Preston hesitated. He never actually expected him to relent.

“Shall I say a few words?” Cary asked.

“Shall you… Shall you say a few…? Go ahead.” Scott was unceasingly amazed at the kids’ stupidity. Here he was, burning an alien’s dead body, and Cary wanted to give it a eulogy.

He began, very solemnly, “We did not get the chance to know this alien, who has suffered the wrath of Scott the Alien Hunter. We only saw the bad side of him, when he tried to kill me and murdered Cassandra. He will be missed. Amen.”

“Amen,” Charles and Martin replied, their heads bowed in grief.

“You guys are killing me,” Scott said. “You’re killing me. Are you being serious?”

“Uh… Scott?”

“What?! What could it possibly be? A bathroom break, perhaps? No, you’d like a proper funeral? Is that it?”

Something heavy hit Scott in the back of the head, knocking him out. Alien #2 stood behind him, revealed by the fall of Scott’s body. He held a large broken-off piece of asphalt in one of his eight hands.

“OH-CRAP-WE’RE-GOING-TO-DIE-WE’RE-GOING-TO-DIE,” Charles screamed.

Martin puked. Cary cowered in a corner. When Martin ceased his vomiting, he stepped right in front of the alien.

“What are you doing? Martin, you’re such a freak! Get away from it!” Cary shouted, pointing at him with one of his crutches.

Martin held up a hand. “Bitch, please. I can handle this.”

He looked into the alien’s red eyes and said authoritatively, “SIT.”

The alien roared, swinging its hands around wildly.

“SIT,” Martin commanded, pointing at the ground. “Sit, boy!”

The alien whimpered, then obeyed.

Cary stared at him, wide-eyed.

The first thing Scott the Alien Hunter when he came to was, “Did you just call me a bitch?”

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