The Boy I Used to Know {ON HOLD}

Chapter Four

Chapter 4:

Erik was hurrying to find his clothes and get dressed. After we had finished he seemed really on edge. I could tell he regretted having sex with me. I had thought that things would be different, better even. But now I only wish I hadn't been so stupid as to believe something could have happened between us.

"Look, Al" He started quickly, not even bothering to look at me. "I, uh...I gotta go."  And he was out the door before I even had the chance to reply.

We hadn't done it under the covers, so I was lying face-up on Erik's bed, naked. I looked over to the clock on his nightstand.  It read 11:15. For someone who had wished he hadn't slept with me, he did a good job a making sure he had his way with me. We had been in his room for hours. 

I guess I was just an easy fuck, then. Just someone to get him off. And the most ridiculous thing is that I thought he liked me too. 

Goosebumps started to pebble on my naked skin, just as the air in the room seemed to become a bit cooler. 

I sat up with a groan, and stood up, taking my sweet time collecting the pieces of my outfit from Erik's floor.

Now only in my underwear, I stood in front of his mirror in his bathroom, thankful that Erik was lucky enough to have his own. I would've died of embarrassment if I had to tread down the hallway to one by Tony, Erik's older brother's, room.

I fished out a rag from underneath the sink, wet it, and slid it all over my skin, doing my best to wash away any evidence of what happened tonight. It's not like I was virgin, but being so blatantly used and rejected still hurt. I had put my trust in Erik and he had disappointed me. I didn't think Erik was the type to tell everyone about was happened between him and myself, but now I wasn't so sure.

I looked back at myself in the mirror. The girl who stared back was not the person I had aspired to be when I was younger. No, this girl was just a disappointment. To everyone it seemed, but even more so to myself. Sometimes I wonder what she would say--my younger self-- if she could see herself now.

My eyes were shadowed with circles from exhaustion, and I couldn't help but notice how especially blank my eyes looked. There was no sparkle, no sheen; they were just flat, dull. 

And I had serious sex hair. Knotted tufts stuck out everywhere from rolling all over the bed. I admit that I definitely wasn't looking my best.

I picked up the comb on Erik's counter and began to work my way through the tangles, tying it up with this hair-tie on my wrist. I wouldn't win any beauty contests tonight, that was I was sure of, but I did look a bit more presentable. 

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Back downstairs, the party was still going hot and heavy. People still seemed be velcroed to each other and were partaking in what one might say resembled the mating dances of the birds of paradise. Basically, it was just one huge dick measuring contest, and as far as I was concerned, everyone was losing.

I was trying to get to the living room and to the front door, but there were so many people, and I ended getting shoved into the kitchen,  falling hard and flat on my ass.

I stood up slowly, rubbing my backside, wincing. Someone whistled.

I was not in the mood for some asshole's bullshit. Irritated, I turned around ready to tear them a new one, only to find a very handsome face giving me a lopsided grin. A very familiar handsome face.

"Tony, you really shouldn't--

Before I could even finish my sentence, he scooped me up into a tight bear hug. "I've missed you so much, Ali." 

I sighed and hugged him back. " I've missed you, too, Tony." And I meant it.Erik was always complaining about Tony, but I loved him. I really had missed him. And he was a fatastic hugger.

It felt nice, being locked in a warm embrace with someone you cared about. The familarity of it tugged at my heart. No one besides Tony and Erik hugged me these days, and I always savored it when I could. I had a feeling Erik wouldn't be too keen on hugging me anytime soon, so I buried my face in his chest, enjoying it while it lasted. 

Eventually, he put me down. Still smiling down at me, he tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. And instantly, I felt a little better. Tony always knew how to put a smile on my face.

"Well, I can honestly say that I didn't expect to see you here," he stated, eyebrows raised questioningly.

Not quite sure what to say, I shifted uncomfortably, and just told him a small half-truth. " Yeah, Eri--I mean James invited me, but I was just on my way out." 

He jutted out his bottom lip, giving me the same look his brother sported all the time. I sucked in a breath. The thing between me and Erik was still too raw. Too new.

"Why so glum, chum?" he asked.

I couldn't talk about it with him. He was Erik's brother. I averted my gaze.

He let out a sigh, and I looked back up at him. A knowing look played on his features. "What'd he do?"

"Nothing." I replied, my throat feeling heavy. 

"Yeah, right. Obviously my idiot brother did something to upset you." He said, looking a tad irritated. "That kid needs to stop being such a dick all the time." 

I smiled a bit to myself. "He says the same thing about you, you know. You two are more alike than you'd both like to think."  He scoffed as if the idea offended him. 

"Yeah, well, even if we are, I at least have the decency to treat women with respect," he stated proudly.

I laughed "Since when?" Tony was definitely known as a playboy in high school. It's true that I only saw him briefly when he came home for holidays this past school year, but I just couldn't picture Tony not being a ladies man; what with his swoon worthy smile (something he and Erik have in common), and his big, warm brown eyes. But then again, I know better than anybody that a single event could change you forever.

He playfully glared at me, and grabbed a few beers out of the fridge. He quickly grabbed me by the wrist and started to lead me toward the back door.

"Where are we going? "

Looking over his shoulder, he grinned at me and said, " I'm taking you to hang out with me and my friends in the back. They sent me in here to get drinks, but I got a bit distracted."

"Oh, really?" I replied.

"Yup. And I'm sure they're wondering where I went. Probably worried sick about little ol' me."

 I snorted

I was actually really glad for the distraction. All I wanted at the moment was to forget about the whole Erik thing. They feel of his hands on my body, his warm breath on my neck. His whispers and moans in my ear. The brush of his hair on my skin, his sweet kisses. I'd been so happy then. For the first time in a while, I was able to forget about all the terrible shit in my life, and just experience something amazing, but It had turned out to only add more to list of things for me to be depressed about; to be ashamed of. I hated the words slut and whore; I don't believe they have any validation, but somehow that's how he made me feel when he ran off once he was finished : cheap and unwanted.

Once again my throat felt heavy; like a rock was lodged in it, making it hard to breathe. I closed my eyes, willing it to go away, to just let me forget, to be carefree in the small hours in the night. 

I'd never met any of Tony's friends; I only knew of them what I'd heard from Tony himself, Erik, and the school rumor mill. Maybe hanging with his friends wouldn't be bad at all. Maybe it'd be exactly what I needed.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Sorry for the late upload. I'm not really satisfied with it, but it was all I could squeeze out of this writer's block for this chapter.

Thanks for reading! :)