The One That Got Away: a Tom Hiddleston romance

Chapter Eight

### As a side note, I listened to the Julia Sheer & Jon D version of Little Talks as I wrote this chapter. It's on spotify if you fancy a listen. It's quite fitting really. ###

The lift began its ascent and we were still in silence, the air thick with tension and apprehension. I glanced down at my hand, which was still tightly wrapped in Tom's. I didn't really know why I hadn't pulled away, or why he hadn't either. I stared at our hands, Tom's long fingers gripping mine as though he never wanted to let go, and I noticed a small graze on one of his knuckles.

I could feel the heat from his side as he stepped closer to me, to let another couple into the lift. My eyes scanned up from his hand, past his wrist encased by his black watch, up his forearm which was glittered with tiny freckles. His biceps were tightly wrapped by his white shirt, which was rolled up to his elbows, showing his lean muscular arms. Arms which used to hold me so tightly. My line of sight moved higher, until I reached his face. His head was dropped, and it seemed that he too was looking at our entangled fingers.

As I looked at him, he raised his head, and our eyes made contact again. I could see the hurt in his blue orbs, full of unanswered questions, hurt which was undoubtedly mirrored in my own eyes. I was torn. Part of me wanted to just scream and run away, or hit him so hard in that perfect jaw of his. The rest of me wanted him to hold me, and tell me he'd made a massive mistake and that he was sorry for ruining my life. As he held my gaze, I could glimpse so many emotions. Hurt, anger, disbelief, regret, and even though I didn't want to believe it, maybe even love too.

The silence was agony, yet neither could break it. There was so much to discuss, so much unsaid, that we didn't even know where to begin. I wanted to lash out at him, I wanted to scream at him and let out seven years worth of anguish out at once, but a strange calm had descended upon my mind. One side of his lip began to curl into a half smile, and he squeezed my hand, almost as if he could read my mind.

The lift stopped to let out the other couple, and we stepped out behind them. Tom led me down the corridor, my hand still in his, and I waited as he reached into his back pocket and took out the key card. With a click, the door opened. The room was fairly standard, but elegant. Tom led me to the bed, where he motioned for me to sit down. The he silently took the chair from the desk and pulled it in front of me and sat down. Not a single word had passed either of our lips since the restaurant.

Tom sighed and lodged his elbows on his knees, and dropped his head, raking his fingers through his dark blonde curls. He put his head in his hands and rubbed at his face, before looking up and licking his lips before he spoke.

'What happened?' He rubbed his hands down his thighs, clearly trying to stay composed.

'It was right after we broke up. I, um. I couldn't tell you. I didn't want to tell you. I didn't even know about it... I didn't know about the baby... until I lost...'

My voice cracked, and a tear fell down my cheek and landed on my wrist. I rubbed it away, and brushed my cheek with the back of my hand. Tom didn't speak, waiting for me to continue.

'I was so angry with you, for what you did. I was heartbroken when we split up, and then...when that...happened, I was broken. So fucking broken, Tom. Do you have any idea how it feels when a doctor tells you that your body has rejected a child you didn't even know was there in the first place?' I could feel the anger begin to rise, and I swallowed it down and exhaled deeply.

'No, Anna. I don't. I wasn't given that option. You simply accused me of sleeping with someone else, and then left me hanging. I couldn't call you. Your family wouldn't answer my calls either. I left messages with your parents, with Nicola, with Sarah. Everyone just shut me out completely. I mean, for fuck's sake, I came up to see you a few days after you left me, but your parents said you were out and to leave you alone.'