Submerged

Surface

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"I can't do this," I clenched my teeth in agony, dropping back down into my wheelchair. I stared down at my lap, my hands trembled from pulling my weight up and my fingers were cramped from holding the rail for so long. This is hopeless.

"Aw sugar," The middle aged nurse patted my shoulder lightly with the motherly touch she'd been giving me ever since my first day at the physical rehab center. "Don't give up."

"I'm tired." I replied irritated as a pounding sensation started across my forehead. I dropped my face into my hand and let out a shaky sigh. I have been trying to dedicate myself to the daily exercises that the Physical Therapist set out for me. It was a series of pull-ups using a bar to help exercise my legs and get into a standing position. Except I never make it all the way up and fall back down into the wheelchair. 

At times I don't even want to do this and at other times I feel like I can do anything. I believe that the pain medicine I've been taking has a slight side effect of hopelessness.

"Can I go to my room now?" I held my head up, asking my nurse, Regina. She said nothing and instead started to pull my wheelchair back, turning towards the automatic doors. Once we were out of the exercise room and into the corridor, I could breathe. Regina pushed me along, humming a tune I couldn't recognize.

"It's a gospel," Her voice perked up. "What you need dear, is to trust in God. Pray and it will all work out. Lean on Him and not your own understanding of things." She leaned over my shoulder and gave me a wink.

"Regina, with all due respect, I've been in that room three times straight this week and all I do is fall. I don't think a little prayer is going to get me off the ground after I bust my ass." I mused, leaning my cheek against my hand.

Regina laughed, "I didn't say it was going to be magic. Everything takes time. You are as blessed as it is, stay humble and patient. You'll see."

"Hey! Miss Regina," Another nurse I knew by the name of Darla stopped us, "Tristan has a visitor waiting in his room, make sure he signs his name on the visitation list so that next time it won't seem like he's here to abduct him?" Darla dramatized, violently smacking on her gum. 

"I will," Regina laughed and started pushing me again, "That girl and that gum." 

"I don't know which is more annoying." I chimed in and Regina pinched my cheek in laughter.

When we got to my room, Tyler was sitting in a chair which was pulled up by the bed. He was wearing a white Nike dri-fit shirt, blue shorts, and sandals. His hair was wet so I'm guessing he was just coming from the beach. He stood up immediately and took Regina's spot, telling her thanks as he helped push me into the room. 

"Sign the visitation list and lunch is in an hour!" Regina reminded before leaving us alone.

"Sooo," He rolled me so that I'd be directly in front of him before taking his own seat. "How was it today?"

I gave him a contemplative look. "What can I say? It was pure shit, pure shit, pure shit-"

"I get it," He raised his hand with a nod, "Pure shit."

I bit my tongue. "I'm not getting anywhere, this is just becoming a day-to-day headache."

"It takes time." Tyler tried to comfort me.

"I'm tired of hearing that." I snapped.

"Look, do you want to walk again?" Tyler snapped back, pressing his hands against my knees.