Jean Reese

Six: Drastic Past

I called mom later that day. She asked me about the 'institution' David was so adamant about. I told her the details of my departure and arrival to the 'institution'-except for the kissing part. She was surprised.

"I didn't know there were changes. I need to call David about this. Have you heard from him yet?" Mom asked with apparent concern in her voice.

"Nope," I answered. "Like what you've said, he might be busy. But I need to know why I'm here."

"Yeah. It's really quite baffling how you get there...and with Finn...in his private sanctuary."

I hinted something in her voice. "What are you thinking, mom?"

She groaned. "Honey, it's Finn. He has some reputation, you know. He gets what he wants. And for him to trouble himself with you is bothering me to the core."

"He couldn't possibly want a sick girl like me," I reasoned. Though he did kiss me.

"It's not a permanent condition, baby. We know that. You're beautiful with so many great potential."

"You think Finn would take advantage of me?"

She paused for a whole ten seconds, I knew because I was mentally counting. Then she said, "He might."

I can't tell mom I was the one who took advantage of him. I initiated the kiss. "Please call David. Ask him so we could stop having these weird ideas about Finn."

"I will. And I'll go see Sofia Sanders first thing in the morning."

"Ok, bye." I ended the call. I went out of the room and found Olivia patiently waiting for me to finish my call. I returned her phone back to her.

"Thanks, Olivia," I muttered.

She smiled. "Were you able to call your mother?"

"Yes. Sorry if I troubled you."

"It's not a problem at all. You can borrow it anytime."

"Really?"

"Well, yes. I don't use my phone that much. My calls were mostly from Finn, and he rarely calls me. I even thought he'd never call at all. I was surprised when he did though. Said I should prepare the guest room," she started. She looked at me and realized I was listening eagerly. She motioned me to follow her and led me to the kitchen.

I sat at the counter as I watched her busy herself with the casserole.

"So," I started. "How long have you been working for Finn?"

Focus on what she was doing, Olivia answered, "Been working for thirteen years for the Walker family. Finn was eight when I started. For six years with Finn, after he bought this place. He asked for me from the main house."

I did the math.

So, he's twenty-seven now. Not bad.

Olivia was a chatterbox. I learned so much about Finn in just a few minutes, what he liked and didn't like, and of how he hated get-togethers but never missed a family event. He did a lot of things, but nothing satisfied him the most like how racing did.

Dinner was served. Since Finn left earlier while I was asleep, the entire villa was left to Olivia and me. We ate and chatted together. She assisted me with my medication. I volunteered to help with the dishes, and then we continued our chat in the living room.

Olivia settled herself near the fireplace, knitting, as I cuddled at the sofa, sipping cocoa.

"Now, tell me about yourself, Jean," she prompted, looking at me with such gentle gaze.

My eyes went from her, the fireplace, and then back to my cocoa. I built up the courage to speak...revealing myself to anybody was something I've never done so casually before.

"Where do I start?"

Olivia shrugged. "Wherever and whichever is fine."

"Well," I fixed my gaze on my cocoa. "I was a senior at St. Gertrude Academy. Would you believe it? I came from a catholic school."

"They have pretty uniforms," she commented. "I'm sure you'd look great in it."

I smiled. "Dad thought so too. But I don't think I could wear them anymore. Order of my expulsion was served after the incident. I started rehab then."

Olivia looked at me. "If you don't want to talk about it, it's fine."

I shook my head. "I feel like I can share it with you."

"I'm glad, Jean."

I took a deep breath, and then I continued, "I have a happy childhood. Mom is great with her work, and she can cook. Dad is best both with work and parenting. I was happy. I performed well in school. And thanks to mom, for both genes and popularity, I became somebody at school...

...then I started seeing this guy. He was a professor...at my school. He...he have a wife, and two kids. Gail and Carol. He was thinking of divorcing his wife, said there was no love between them anymore..."

"Jean..." Olivia put away her stuff and rushed towards my side. She took my cocoa away from me and placed a gentle hand on my shoulder.

A tear started to fall; soft little sobs escaped from me. I wanted to continue and confess. I had been keeping my pain, fright, and confusion for such a long time.

"I became so attached to him. He said after I graduate, he was gonna marry me. He said I filled the space in his heart that had long been barren. And I was so stupid to believe him!" I cried out loud. With all the crazy emotions morphed together inside me, I always felt like exploding. "I was very stupid I fell for his fucking lies!"

Olivia wrapped her arms around me. I cried in her arms. It took me a while until I gathered the strength to continue recalling my drastic past.

"Then one day, he said we should do it. He wanted to seal our relationship by f*cking me! And I was so confused, but decided to do it anyway," I said, my breathing started to stop short.

"Jean...you can stop..."

I didn't listen. My breathing was even more deranged. "But when we were about to do it...I got scared. I was so scared I started to run! But that pig caught me! He was forcing himself to me! I shouted for help! I thought it was the end, and then suddenly dad was there. And dad...he almost killed him! He could've killed him...I wanted him killed..."

"Jean..."

"I want him killed..."

"Jean?"

"I want him killed..."

"Jean...please...let's not talk about this anymore..."

But it was too late. I got caught. I was so upset I began to tremble. My insides were in pain. My head ticked. I could feel my body convulsing in pain.

However, I felt another arm held me tight. I felt those strong arms tried to keep me steady. That smell, I began to recognize it. And in spite of the surmounting madness that started to build up within me, I heard those low, soothing sound of voice trying to keep me calm.

And my body responded slowly.

"Good girl," Finn tightened his grip. "I'm here. Nobody is going to hurt you. That bastard will pay, alright? I'm here."

I could feel Finn's warmth. I can hear the beating of his heart. My focus shifted. I was now aware of him. And my body was aware of him.

"Finn..." my voice was coarse, almost inaudible.

"Shhh," he hissed. "I'm here, baby. I won't leave."

Slowly, I closed my eyes, feeling at peace under the warmth of his embrace.