I write letters to overcome alot of things but sometimes i never get passed like, when 50%of my brain tell's me i can and the other 50% shuts down . And the 50% that shuts down , it shuts me all the way down . The way i look at it it's a fear of not making it . A fear of thinking to much and changing my mind thinking i will never get to where i want to be. I just wanna be home . No not the home your talking about like the one you go to or see riding pass. The home that has the golden gates. Everything we go through and work so hard for will never be taken with us . You even leave your own body to be somewhere else . A place you may call wonderland. But its scary because its like rolling a dice you are not picking a place where you go or who you are going with , its just your soul leaving and drifting away . I use to burn letters when i was little so the little letters i put down on the paper fly different directions . I loved the color of the flames when the paper was lit. My eyes got big and the fire was warm. Like sitting outside eating S'more's. Now i write lines no pen no paper.
But a blade and my arm . Instead of fire i love to see the blood drip. No not because im crazy because im hurt. Because of all the things i been through at night its where i release everything. No i don't talk to anynody im closed. My feelings are my feelings but when. You need someone to talk to. Im open and can give you any advice. Im the kid who smiles laughs tells jokes but you dont know my story i continue to be nameless .
