Counting Thorns

Chapter 2

Eliot’s POV

“This is complete bullshit!” I roll my eyes at Zack’s ridiculous outbursts. 

“Don’t you think you’re over exaggerating just a little?” I question rhetorically. Obviously, he didn’t catch the rhetorical part.

“Like hell I am!” He slaps his hand on a piece of paper dramatically. “Look at this! It’s completely ridiculous!”

“You’re just mad because you actually have teachers who are going to do their job this year. Suck it up, man. Learn something for once. It can’t hurt your brain too bad.”

“Easy for you to say,” he retorts, as he places one of his cheeto-covered fingers on my new course schedule for the year.

“Dude, could you not?” I say in a disgusted tone of voice as I rip my paper from his grimy clutches. He ignores my statement and reads out loud over my shoulder.

“AB Calc with Kronken, AP Language & Composition with Thailer, and what’s that? Physics with Browser?” He starts to snicker, and I could feel his hot breath on my neck.

I shrug him off of me. “What’s your point?”

“My point is your a brainiack, dude. Of course you’re not going to understand the tragedy of having difficult teachers like the rest of us normal populace.”

“I,” I emphasize as I point a finger towards myself, “am not a brainiack.” This is of course a complete lie. I pride myself on being a very intellectual person. However, most of my friends, as Zack perfectly exemplifies, though I love them so, are boneheads. I’m not necessarily dry-boned like most people consider textbook nerds. I’ve got plenty of personality to spare, proven by my ability to socialize and gain friends easily. Still, I hate it when people tease me about being really smart; I feel like it’s one of the anomalies I’m forced to wear on my shoulder.

Zack lets out another half-snort. “Come on, man! You’re like the king of the nerds. Half of your schedule is viable for college, and the other half is full of music and acting classes. Seriously, how on earth do any women find you attractive?”

I sock Zack in his gut, and my hand reverberates through his stomach fat. “Maybe it’s because I’m fit and suave and not a complete asshole, unlike someone else I know? Besides,” I argue, as I grab him into a headlock, “who are you to call anyone a nerd? Mr. Dr.-Who-Fanatic!”

“Hey, now, Tenant has some serious lady killing charm! Ask any other Whovian!”

Now it’s my turn to snort. “Well you obviously haven’t learned anything from him. From the looks of you, it seems like you picked up some of Cassandra’s personality.” I noogie him, which I know will agitate Zack because it’s messing with his long blonde locks. The dude has an obsession over hair. His hair in specific. I swear, if he wasn’t such a man whore, he’d be the perfect gay man.

I hear him suck in his breath from beneath my headlock. “You... did... not...!” He breaks out of my head lock and smashes one right in my arm.

“Oh, it’s on!” I retort back. Tensing up my legs, I lunge towards him and knock him down to the ground. He rolls over on top of me and puts me in a headlock with his legs. Crap. I forgot Zack has been doing some weird wrestling program over the summer.

I break out of his death grip and jump up in full-on ninja defense mode. This is so going down. I pull back my elbow, preparing to knock this sucker out. However, instead of making a full elastic pull backwards, my elbow comes in contact with something hard. Something like bone.

“FUCK!” I hear someone behind me yell. Oh crap.

“Dude...” Zack says with wide-eyes. I follow his gaze and look behind me.

A girl with jet black curly hair wearing a red and black striped cardigan was clutching her right hand to her nose, while her other hand dropped the green army canvas bag she was carrying.

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” I start to apologize as I reach for her bag. However, quick as a whip, she snatches the bag before my hands can even reach it.

“NO! Just leave me alone you self-conceited freak!” she yelled as her brown eyes cut me with an icy stare. With that, she flipped her head forward and stomped towards the school entrance, making a loud clicking noise each time her combat boots connected with the concrete.

“Like I said,” Zack taunts as he puts one of his arms on my shoulder and leans against me. “You’ve got amazing skills with the ladies.” I throw him an indifferent glance.

“Who was that anyways?”

“I don’t know. Some raging female beast with a tampon stuck up her ass? Which, by the way, was a really hot one.” My ears barely register the level of perversion, and instead, my gaze remains steady on the cold spot where she used to be. When I don’t respond, Zack slaps his hand against my cheek slightly. “Dude, come on, it was an accident. She was probably agitated from her menstrual cramps anyways.” I flash him an annoyed look this time, and a smile breaks out across his face.

“Speaking of girls, have you spoken to Tori yet?” I slap my hand to my forehead and slowly drag it downwards towards my face.

“This day just keeps getting better and better,” I mumble underneath my breath.

“Hah, look like someone forgot someone who won’t forget that someone forgetting something! Great use of those extra braincells, dude.”

“Not in the mood, Zack!” I grab my stuff in my arms and start running towards the commons area. This is the best start to junior year possible.