Gone...or not?

It was already dark outside as i was on my way home. I'm not sure what time it was as i forgot everything at home. My watch, my wallet, my phone and even my keys! I hope my boyfriend is still awake when i arrive home, otherwise i'd probably have to spend the night outside which would be pure horror because it was cold winter.

I was with friends because it was our girls evening but we kind of forgot the time so it was already late as i left my friend’s house.

I have to walk through a park in order to get home. This park seemed really scary at night because most of the trees were really old and in the moonlight the shadows of those old trees looked like monsters and the wind blowing through the wood create horribly frightening noises.
I was lost in thoughts on my way through this park. I was so far lost in those thoughts that i haven't noticed those noises the wind made. I was thinking about how amazing the day with my friends has been.

Suddenly a loud noise teared my out of my thoughts, this noise was nothing less than gunshots! Right at this moment heavy pain went through my body for a second, then i felt nothing.

The next second i found myself lying on the ground. I try to get up but it wouldn't work, i just can't move! What happened to me? How did i get on the ground in the first place? I really don't understand! Like did i stumble over my own feet? But that's not possible as i'm lying on my back! I continued trying to move…nothing! What the fuck is happening to me? i can see, i can hear but i cannot move nor feel! Like i'm literally laying in the snow in a cold winter night but i'm not even freezing!

The night went by but i haven't managed to move even a bit! I saw the sun rise and i heard the birds starting to sing and the first people started walking their dogs here! I can only hope somee finds me and helps me! In fact i'm hearing a dog's barking coming nearer and nearer! I'm trying to scream “I am here! Help me!“ but not even the littles noise is leaving my mouth! Have i even managed to actually move my mouth? I highly doubt it!

The fear inside of me increased more and more! I never experienced such a fear in all those 28 years i’ve been alive! Finally i'm seeing a woman and a dog coming nearer! The dog, who was walking free runs to me and barks. The woman started running too as she noticed the dog barking at me! As she saw me she suddenly turned pale and released a long scream, as if she just saw a corpse! She put out her phone and made a call! She literally called the police! But what have i done wrong?

Soon the police arrived and as soon as they saw me, one of the police officers put their hand on my neck as if they were to check if i'm still alive! „please help me!“ i tried to say but once again nothing works! The police officers turns to the other one with a sad impression on his face „she's gone. Shot to death. must be laying here all night!“

No! Just no! I cannot be dead! This must be a Nightmare! „Girl wake up! This dream is getting out of hand!“ i thought but nothing happened. But this must be a nightmare, one of those really horrible ones where you wake up screaming and sweating and struggle to get back to sleep.

I expected to wake up next to my boyfriend and him pulling me into a tight hug and softly saying to me „sh darling, it's all alright you just had a nightmare!“ but nothing like that happened!

I saw the other police officer tearing up and now i recognize him! My boyfriend's brother! „i know her! She’s the girlfriend of my little brother! Such a lovely lady! Who would shoot her?“ he asked his partner.

But how can i be dead? I see everything and i hear everything you say! I'm alive, just unable to move for somesome reason! Why can noone see that i'm alive?

„We need to inform her family and my brother! Fuck this will break his heart!“ I heard my boyfriend's brother say.

Wait! Did they really talk about informing my family about my death!? But i'm alive! No need to inform anyone! This is really getting out of hand now! If this is some kind of sick joke, it's time to stop it now!

One of the police officers made another call, then other people came, and they literally put me into a body bag and drove me to god knows where! I tried to scream for help all the time but i wasn't heard!

The police officers are probably informing my parents and my boyfriend now and they will pass the news on to all my friends! They all will be heartbroken and i’m unable to help them! I feel like crying but i'm sure i'm not even able to cry!

I can't tell how much time has passed since i was found in that park. People still believe that i'm dead and i still haven't made it to show that i'm alive.

They even performed an autopsy on me! I didn't feel any pain but it scared me in a way noone could possibly imagine. They found out that i was shot to death in the park and they want to investigate who did that to me, but fuck! I cannot be dead! I can see everything, i can hear everything! I just cannot move! What the hell is happening to me! I don't understand and i'm beginning to wish to be dead for real! This feels like hell! How did i deserve this!

Now i find myself lying in a coffin, at my own funeral! The coffin is opened, my boyfriend is standing next to my and he looks horrible! It seemed like he has done nothing but crying all the time since he heard the news! And I'm not even dead! He looks at me, crying his eyes out and tells me how much he loves me and that he can't live without me. I just want to tell him that everything is ok, that i'm alive and not gonna leave him anytime soon but i can’t! i can't move, i can't say anything!  My mom and some good friends of me also say good bye to me like that. I see nothing but pure despair in their faces.

All in all a lot of people attend my funeral and they all were crying over me. Not everyone wanted to see me like this and i understand them, if i was in that position i don't know if i'd want to see them dead in their coffin. I hear them saying things about me like how much they loved me and what a good person i was and i really wanted to give everyone a hug and tell them that i was still alive but no matter how hard i tried to do anything, it didn't work! They’re telling me to „rest in peace" but how am i supposed to do so when i'm not even dead!

They close the coffin, take me to the cemetary and bury me! The fear inside of me rises more and more from second to second but i couldn't do anything! Darkness swallowed me and i was alone. Forever