Now I Can't See You Anymore

Chapter I

So people, hello. I'm fairly new to the whole Mixer and Jerrie Fandom, but I do love them with all my heart and have devoured music, videos, books and everything in between in just a few months. 

I don't really believe Jerrie is real, but I do love the thought of it. So much that I just had to write something with them in it. And, tada! Here it is. 

Please bear in mind that english is not my first language. Thank you. Comments and votes are much appreciated. :) 

(c) I own the story, but I do not own, in any way, any of the characters except for the children. 

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It had been five months. The worst five months of Jade Thirlwall's life. Five months of uncertainty, fear, loss, heartbreak. Five months of simply not knowing. Not knowing how to live, how to move on, how to exist without the love of her life. She purely did not know how to function without her. The one person who had been there since she was 19 years old. The one that made her experience feelings she never thought she would or could. The one who brought joy and happiness to her life. The one who gave Jade her most prized possessions. Now, all of that had been taken away from her. By a stupid car, by a fanatic and because she was the most selfless person she knew. Jade didn't think she would ever forgive herself, it was her fault. If she had just paid more attention. If she hadn't dragged her down to get something from the Disney store, if Jade hadn't been so fucking childish, she would still have her. And that's what hurt her the most. She was the reason the love of her life threw herself in front of a car just to push Jade away. It was aimed at her and it was her beautiful wife that had suffered. She was the reason Perrie had been in a coma for five months and about to have life support shut down.

Honestly, she didn't know if she would be able to do it. How can someone just decide to end their soulmate's life? Perrie's parents had let her decide what she wanted to do. The doctors were just waiting for her to go through with it. They didn't think Perrie would ever wake up. After all, the trauma her body sustained in the accident was quite severe.

Jade knew she had to be strong. She had a little girl to think of, their little girl, and she found out a few months prior that she had another small person to take care of now. Amelia got her wish of having a baby sibling. Jade found out a month after the accident. Everyone thought that when she fainted, she was just overwhelmed and tired but she knew better. They had been planning to have another baby for a few months before Jonnie donated for them. They were supposed to be over-the-moon thrilled with another miracle of life, another symbol of their love and yet they were in the worst situation possible. Perrie would never know their baby. She wouldn't be able to watch their children grow. She wouldn't be able to love Jade anymore and Jade didn't know if she could handle it. But she knew that Perrie would want her to be strong and take care of their babies. And that's what she was going to do. No matter how hard it would be.

Today was the day Jade would go through with her decision and she called every important person in Perrie's life to say goodbye to her. Her heart broke just imagining saying one last goodbye to the love of her life, the mother of her children. She was too young to lose the person who was supposed to be with her for her whole life.

Tears streamed down her face as she softly stroked her stomach. Even though she was six months along, her petite frame did not allow her to have a very big belly. "She would have loved you, Peanut. She would adore you as much as she adores your sister. I think she does, regardless," Jade sobbed as she thought about what she was going to say to their daughter, their little princess as Perrie called her. She hadn't let Amelia see Perrie in this state, but she knew it would be unfair if she didn't get to say goodbye to her mam. She would be the last one to do so.