Now I Can't See You Anymore

Chapter IV

Just one left after this. Comments and / or votes are very appreciated. 

Reminder that English is not my first language. Also Jaded are so freaking cute. Okay, back to Jerrie xD

"I hate you Perrie Edwards," Jade started, not really believing that she was doing this. Saying goodbye to her soulmate, "No, I don't. I love you with all my heart. I just really hate that you put me in this position. None of us deserved this. Our daughters don't deserve this. We had so much ahead of us, baby! We had such an amazing life, so many dreams. We were about to start a real life with our babies and the universe had to take you away from us. Do you know how unfair that is? How stupid it is? Don't leave me baby, I can't do this without you. I can't raise our daughters without you by my side. You're taking my heart with you and I can't live without a heart," Jade chuckled, "that was cheesy as fuck, wasn't it? But I mean it. How am I supposed to go on without you? You promised you'd always be with me. This would be Little Mix's last album before we would finally settle down and finish decorating our backyard with a trampoline and a swing, just the way you wanted. You told me we would have three kids, two girls and a boy, remember? You told me that when you asked me to marry you all those years ago. You told me you could see us together, growing old and now you're leaving me? We still don't have that boy, Perrie," Jade stopped for a moment, contemplating on what to say without totally breaking down. This would be her last chance to speak to Perrie and she would not waste it by bawling her eyes out.

"Do you have any idea how much I want to keep you here? To at least have you in some way? I want to be selfish like that, but I know I can't. I've got to let you rest, to let you go. Even though just the thought of having to do this is enough for me to physically feel my heart break. Can one die of a broken heart? I read once that it was possible, yes. But I can't die. Not when I have the two most amazing beings in my life. The two little perfectly designed parts of you that no one is going to take away from me. They'll know all about you, I promise. I'll tell them that you are their guardian angel, and-" she stopped, the lump in her throat preventing her from uttering a word. Her head was spinning and she had to take a few deep breaths to calm herself then. It would be of no use for her to succumb to her sadness right now. Amelia would be there in a few moments and she couldn't look so broken in front of her. Perrie would scold her if their daughter saw her like that.

Perrie was the over-protective without being too much kind of parent, that's why Jade was sure that she'd be looking over Amelia and Jasmine. She took a deep breath and continued, "I've been thinking about what to say to you on this day for the past week. I could say so many things. I could recall so many memories. I could spend hours just describing how you make me feel and how much I love you. But nothing can do justice to the moments we lived together, right baby? Do you remember writing Secret Love Song? How much meaning that song had to us at that time? That is probably one of my favorite moments that I've spent with you. Just curled up on the couch of our place, leaning into each other. We were so angry with Management that we just wanted to pour everything out. I wanted so badly to tell the world you were mine. That's one of the things I've always been the most happy about. You being mine. It's a quite indescribable feeling, really. I remember how both your part of the lyrics and mine fit so perfectly well together. But they had to go and throw a man in the midst of it. Thank God our fans preferred our version," Jade's mind drifted to the countless performances of 'Secret Love Song part II'. To the countless times Perrie mouthed 'Cause I'm Yours' looking straight in to her eyes. She smiled softly, thinking of how that was the way they came out to their fans. When during one performance at Capital's Summertime Ball, Perrie mouthed that phrase and both leaned in and kissed each other. They swore that their fans had never been so freaking loud.