One-shots

Alone time

Ugh finally some alone time to kick back relax and let loose! I grabbed the stack of carefully hidden chocolate bars and a tub of ice cream. I turned on the TV and put on Vampire Diaries because Damon and Stefan get this single girl's party started, if you know what I mean. After a few minutes of drifting off and enjoying the show I heard a banging noise from my neighbor's apartment. Thinking nothing of it, I closed my eyes once more. 

"Hmmm" I sighed just enjoying the peace and quiet I never get. 

"MGHIFAH!" My neighbor shouted or moaned or whatever the hell that was.  I sat up straight on the couch, blinking rapidly. You've got to be kidding me! That pompous asshole always has to ruin my fun! If only we didn't share a wall! 

"Damn baby!" A high and squeaky feminine voice shouted.  Oh no! He is not doing what I think he is!  BANG! What the f- BANG!  BANG! BANG! The wall we both shared was being assaulted over and over as my neighbor did what I hoped he wasn't but probably was doing against our wall. 

"OOH BABY GRRRR BARK!" The high feminine voice came again.  Did she just bark? Like a dog?!  Oh my god!  The banging continued and I was getting sick and tired of hearing it. I'm going to give that guy a piece of my mind! He has a new girl every night! I shuddered thinking of Screaming Sally, the long legged blonde from the night before, who sounded like banshee in heat. Then of Freaky Fannie, yeesh that was a long-ass night! Oh, and Ticklish Tammy who wouldn't stop laughing the whole time and I'm talking snorting and choking laughter not the sweet little giggles you would expect. Don't even get me started on sneezey Susie and I thought my allergies were bad! It sounded like an animal was dying in there! Like god where does this guy find these girls! In an insane asylum!? Suddenly Maxwell my beloved golden retriever was standing to attention pawing at the wall. Did he actually think a dog was next door?  This is fucking crazy! 

"Bark! Bark! Bark!" Doggy Debbie was at it again barking her head off like a fucking chihuahua. Maxwell responded immediately with some barks and whimpers of his own. This has to be a joke! Damn I'd rather listen to the banging then the barking especially since its riling Maxwell up!  Enough is enough! I gathered up my courage and began the slow, slow, slow march to my neighbor's door. Finally, I knocked on it. Nothing. I waited a few minutes before trying again. Still nothing. I was about to leave when a man opened the door wearing only grey sweat pants. Sweet mother of hell, this guy is gorgeous! Perfectly sculpted abs and defined pectorals blocked my vision as I stared up at the man who had been the cause of my many sleepless nights. Boy did I get it now! Of course girls would be all over him, of course he would get a new one every night! He certainly had the looks for it and with my subtle-not so subtle glances I could tell he definitely had the package for it to! He cleared his throat. 

"Finished?" He smirked looking down on me with the most beautiful dark blue eyes I'd ever seen. 

"H-huh?" I replied stupidly, enraptured by his startling good looks. He raised an eyebrow and leaned forward. Instinctively, I stepped back, he intimidated me and damn well knew it. 

"What do you want?" He tried again, rolling his eyes. Towering over me, his body language screamed dominance. I can't remember the last time I'd seen a man as hot as him. In fact I can't even remember the last time a man looking like him ever intimidated me or made me feel as small as I did right now. Come on get a grip! It's just a man! 

"You s-shut up!" I said. Realizing that made no sense at all and sounded very rude I blushed. "I mean your too loud! W-we share a wall you know, you-you can't make all that noise I need to sleep!" Damn, well there goes my plan at sounding assertive, I sounded like a 5 year old girl about to pee her pants!

"Right well Linda and I will try to keep it down, okay?" His voice sounded very patronizing and it pushed my buttons. Damn that insolent beautiful ass! Though I bet his ass is as cute and big as his-NO! Stop it focus!  

"Great, actually do me a favor and tell your chihuahua in there that if she ever needs a playmate I have a hot golden retriever who could use some love," I smirked unable to resist. This man got me mad in more then one way, and I was determined to find and point-out a flaw even if it wasn't exactly about him. 

"I don't have a dog," he replied giving me a confused look. 

"Are you sure about that because doggy Debbie-oh excuse me lin-dah," I grinned flicking my tongue while saying her name. "Seemed quite eager to throw some balls around and play fetch..." Triumphantly, I watched as his expression went from confused to amused to mad. 

"Oh,"  He scowled at me, "I don't think you quite understand what's going on here little girl, in fact I haven't failed to notice that you are always alone, actually, it's nice to know that there's some semblance of a man or should I say dog in your life to keep you company." Instantly my face fell into an annoyed frown. Is he referring to my non-existent sex life? He better not be! 

"Oh don't you worry your sweet ass mister I have plenty of men that are not in anyway dogs nor do they sound like them in my life, and if you could please keep it down it would be greatly appreciated." He just looked at me smirked, and shut the door.  Scowling I stomped back to my apartment feeling really tired and very annoyed. I sank down onto my couch while petting my hyper dog trying to calm him down. Just when I thought it was over...

BANG! BANG! BARK! BARK! BARK! Maxwell instantly replied romping around the kitchen pawing repeatedly at the wall. I groaned preparing myself for another sleepless night I knew was inevitable.  

THANK YOU FOR READING! This is my first time writing so comments and votes are greatly appreciated. Sorry for any spelling and grammar errors you might notice. I'm not perfect.. I guess ;) I will take requests! Let me know if you enjoyed this or want a part two! :)